I have some random thoughts to throw out there, you can take them or leave them. But either way I need to share them before I burst. I warn you now they may be contradictory and I'm okay with that. You will probably have strong opinions on what I have to say, and that's okay with me. So without further ado the rantings and ravings of a single woman...
First off it really bugs me that people feel that marriage is the end all. As if I'm not complete without a man to "complete me." I'm sorry but I've not met my Tom Cruise and HELLO did you see the whole first and middle part of the movie... He spent the whole time trying to get away from her, only wanting a relationship because of her son, but at the very end he says, "You complete me." And we're all melting in our seats because it's so romantic. Really?? He was a jerk! Honestly. Okay so back to my point I don't need a man to complete me! I am not an incomplete person because there's not a man in my life. My life is not on pause while I wait for Mr. Right to show up. In fact I think if I were to be waiting on Mr. Right, then I would miss him because I wouldn't be doing the things that I should've been doing.
Also, just because I say I don't "need" a man doesn't mean I don't want one. There are many things in our lives that we don't need, but we want. When I say I don't need a man, I mean that I'm not going to sit around crying because he hasn't shown up yet. There are things I need and want to do, and although I'm open to the idea of a relationship I'm also not going to hold my breath for one. Why? Because I want to live. :) Can't hold your breath forever without passing out. What do I mean by this? I'm going to do the things I know I need to be doing, and when opportunities arise the things I want to be doing, whether or not there is a man in my life.
I was at a bridal shower last week and I won a prize. It was decorative kitchen towels and an oven mitt. An older woman says, "Oh you can put them in your hope chest." What I was thinking and what I said were two different things. Honestly I thought I said the better of the two options, but I'll let you decide. What I was thinking was, "Pfft, I'm not sticking them in my hope chest, I'm gonna use them now, cuz I want something different when it's my turn, cuz these aren't really my style." What I said was, "Huh, there's no hope." Well in a matter of milliseconds I had my head bitten off. As if all my hope of everything good and wonderful in life only comes from being married. Well if that's the case you'd better tell all of those single women God is using in the mission fields, in orphanages, as teachers, and nurses that although what they're doing is okay, God can't make it great until they get married! My hope is not in finding a husband. God says that he is the one that gives me a hope and a future. Honestly, my happiness does not depend whether or not he brings me someone. I'm not hoping in "finding" someone. My hope is that God's will is done in my life whether single or married.
Please know I am NOT bashing married woman AT ALL. I desire a godly husband, that will be the priest of our home. I desire to find someone I can spend the rest of my life with. I would love to be in a relationship. I dream about my wedding day and celebrating my fiftieth anniversary with someone. But at the same point if that's not what God has for me I'm okay with that.
And so do some of my comments come out of insecurity yes. Is it because sometimes I truly feel that maybe I will be single forever? Yes. And I need to be able to come to the place where I'm fine with that. So if my comments upset you, I apologize. But truly I'm working on being content and people pestering me about finding someone is not helping! So if you think you're encouraging me by saying, "Oh someday you'll find someone." You're not. Because all you're doing is robbing me of the contentment I'm trying to find in it just being me and God. God truly needs to be enough for me, because no matter what a husband's job isn't to complete me. That's God's job. God's job is to be my all. God's job is to fill me, comfort me, sustain me. And so forgive me if you don't approve of the way I handle my singleness, but hey, I'm a work in progress.
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