Thankful Thursday - What Love Really Looks Like

This is going to be a little different than my normal Thankful Thursdays post. I've been struggling lately with the concept of love, and so I did what I normally would: I get mad, I throw a temper tantrum, I "pray" my way (basically complain to God) and tell Him not to give me an answer I don't want to hear, and then finally I pray and ask God to give me wisdom and help me; usually that entails Him showing me how I need to change.

So today I'm thankful for the answers God brings, even when it means I need to change!

I would like to share with you what I've come up with concerning love.

 

What Love Really Looks Like?

Love is a simple four letter word that I've recently noticed I use way too often. It's a word thrown around so much that it has lost some of it's meaning. Phrases like, "I love that movie," or "I love those shoes," or a "love ya" that is simply thrown at the end of a conversation, have diminished it's meaning.

The Bible says that God is love; however, it doesn't stop there. The Bible goes on to show us the acts of love. "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay one's life down for his friends" (John 15:13) and "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). This shows me that true love, God's love, is selfless, giving, and displayed in action. There's a saying that says "Love is a verb." A verb is an action word. To me this means to simply say you love something doesn't demonstrate that you do.

There is a good book called, The Five Love Languages. It talks about the different ways people feel loved: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. It's a great tool to understand how you receive love, and how others around you may receive love. It also confirms to me that love is displayed in action. Each of these languages take a verb, an action word, to complete them.

(As I began thinking this over, I initially felt justified: "See they don't love me..." And then I allowed God to continue working in me.)

1 Corinthians 13 makes cute sayings to put on place settings at a wedding. Everyone reads them and goes, "Awe how sweet." And then, they're forgotten about. Why? Because we've made love self-serving. How does it make me feel? I read through the list of love again.
Love:
- suffers long and is kind
- does not envy
- does not parade itself
- is not puffed up
- does not behave rudely
- does not seek its own
- is not provoked
- thinks no evil (some versions say here: keeps no record of wrongs)
- does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth
- bears all things
- believes all things
- hopes all things
- endures all things
Reading through this again my thought was, "Ouch!!" It's so easy to glance at this list and think, "What a nice thought." But that's not how the Bible is meant to be read! The Bible doesn't say things just because they're nice. This is how my love is to look. Love is an action, and these are the things people should see or not see in the way I love others. Can I honestly sit here and say my life has even one of these attributes all the time? Absolutely not!

I don't know about you, but I often get this chip on my shoulder that says, "they don't really love me, so I'm done with them." But Jesus says, "But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them," and then goes on to say in a later verse, "But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil" (Luke 6:32, 35).

Family is sometimes the hardest people to love, and it's so easy to want to write our families off. Why? Because they hurt us like no one else can. I can freely give of my time in working in the church, or going on a missions trip, or even going above and beyond at my job at work; and in all of these things, expect nothing in return. And yet, I struggle with my family. I think well they don't love me, they don't show me they love me, but this is selfish. Am I loving them, expecting nothing in return? Remember "love does not seek its own." As I'm coming to understand this I became utterly deflated. Does family still hurt us? Yes, but it's like those verse in Luke, if I only love those who [appear] to love me, what credit is that?

I'm still working on the execution of this lesson. It's one thing to read and understand, now comes the hard part of testing: executing God's kind of love no matter what! Here's what I've decided to do: stop saying it and start doing it. I want my actions to show my love. So when people hear my words it is confirmation of what they already know because of my actions.

What that means for you: If you say to me "love ya" don't get mad if I don't say it back, because I want to show you that I love you, and not just let it be empty words. I want you to know by my actions that I love you! Luke 6:30 says, "Treat others how you want to be treated." This is what I'm trying to do!