Let me start by saying I love my nephews so much! They are the best kids in the world. And although I may be biased, I've also heard from many others (unrelated) what great kids they are. I say that to say I love talking with them. Nathan at 5 years old is the oldest, and Zachy is 3. Nathan is a chatterbox and will literally talk your ear off. So one of our latest conversation inspired this post today.
We were driving in the car and I asked him about his class on Sunday. Nathan at first couldn't remember, but seeing as I had taught the week before I knew the last few weeks they've been learning about the Miracles of Jesus. Here's how the conversation went:
Me: Nate I know you've been learning about all the miracles Jesus did because he has all the ...
Nate and Zachy: Power.
Me: And we know that Jesus can walk on ...
Zachy: Water
Nate: Hey Zach I was going to say that first.
Me: And we know that Jesus took a few loaves of bread and some small fish and fed...
Zach: 5
Nate: A billion people.
Me: Well actually 5,000
Nate: Oh Aunt Jenny I remember now. My lesson was about the mummy.
Me: The Mummy?
Nate: Yeah he was all wrapped up.
Me: Oh Lazarus. He was dead and Jesus said "Lazarus Come out." And then he came back to life.
Nate: Yeah and he was wrapped up like a mummy.
Me: Wow God is so powerful he can even bring people back to life.
Nathan: Aunt Jenny why doesn't Jesus do that in real life?
Wow, that question hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted to say well he can, blah, blah, blah. But instead of responding I took a moment to pray. Honestly this is something that has bugged me for years. We hear about God's power through the Bible and even from missionaries in other countries. But where is God's power in America? in New York? in Amsterdam? in my life?
And so here's what I told him. I told him that God is still powerful enough to do those things, and there are stories from missionaries today that have actually seen dead people brought back to life. But we don't see God's miracles a lot in America because people don't believe God can still do those things and so they don't pray. I told him that prayer is where our power comes from and that if his Nan or Pops died and he prayed for them knowing that Jesus had all the power, then they would come back to life.
Here's my question to you: Do you believe that Jesus is still all-powerful? Do you read the miracles of Jesus as a great thing that he did, without ever believing he could do that now?
When I was 17 my Nan died (my mom's mother). Before she died she lived with us. Whenever she wasn't feeling well I would pray for her. Sometimes I would ask her if I could, and sometimes I would just come up behind her, rub her back, and pray for her. One day a friend of hers was visiting. Nan had just learned a new truth in scripture about God's protection and she was sharing with her friend. Then Nan said, "Whenever I'm not feeling well my Jenny will pray for me and I feel all better. I always know when she prays for me even if it's not out loud because I feel better." I wasn't in the room when she said this I was in the kitchen, but I heard this and I was astounded. Wow, God is so good. My Nan had all kinds of breathing problems and was on all kinds of medications, but God was listening to my prayers.
Seventeen was an extremely rough age for me. I was a senior in High School. I was struggling with people telling me that God didn't call women to be pastor's. And on top of that I struggled really bad with depression. There were times I would cry out to God to "just take me." Whenever I was struggling really bad I would call my youth pastor and he would pray with me. On Mother's Day I had just gotten off the phone with him, and my Nan called me into her room. She said, "Jenny will you stay up with me tonight." I was selfish. I had been helping take care of my grandmother for over a year. I was tired. I had stayed up all night the night before because I couldn't sleep. I had school the next day. I had tons of excuses. And so I said, "Nan I just can't." And in that moment I knew I needed to pray for her, and in my selfishness I refused. I told myself I can't even pray for myself how am I going to pray for someone else. Nan was taken to the hospital, I was there first thing in the morning and would've been there the rest of the day if a very dear friend of mine hadn't made me leave. I went and told Nan I loved her and would be back later, and she said to me, "No you don't love me, leave me alone." I kissed her anyway and left tears clogging my throat. Again, I felt the need to pray and again I walked away. After I went out with my friend, I had to babysit. I returned to the hospital after 9pm my mom was there. I pulled up a chair next to my Nanny and held her hand. Around 11pm my uncle came and I went home with my mom. Early in the morning there was a phone call and I knew it was about Nan. My mom called the house about 6am and my dad and I went to the hospital. She never woke up. I never got to tell her how much I loved her and most importantly I never took the time to pray for her one last time.
Here's the part I've never told anyone: Before she was taken to the morgue we saw her in her room. A Pastor came and here we were in the room: My mom, dad, uncle, myself, and Nan. She lay on the bed like she was sleeping. She wasn't full of preservatives yet, she was still just Nan. I stood there pleading in my head for the pastor to go over and pray for her. Pray that God would let her come back. Pray that God would do a miracle and she would wake up. I know the Bible stories. I know about all the people that God brought back to life in the Bible; and so, I stood there yelling in my head, "If you believe why don't you do something?" I was angry that he wouldn't pray for her, but I was really angry because I didn't pray for her.
God has all the power. He's omnipotent. He merely asks us to display the faith and ask. And so what if I had gotten over me and prayed? Yes we need to pray God's will, but what about the power that God has given us? What about praying believing and leaving no room for doubt? Sometimes I think we add the "your will God" because we're afraid that He's not going to move and we don't want to look dumb! This way we can say, "Well I prayed, but it must not have been God's will." Really? Really did you pour out your heart in faith believing God or did you just say the words because that's what you're supposed to do? Because the prayer of faith is believing God with everything. The prayer that moves God's heart and hand is the prayer that leaves it all on the altar. The prayer of faith is the prayer made in humility that's not afraid to look dumb. Because you know what? It's not about you! If you make prayer about you then God's not going to answer because it's about Him! He is willing to do the work, if we are willing to humble ourselves and lay it all on the line.
People in other countries receive miracles from God because if God doesn't show up, then they have nothing. They have no choice but to come before God humbly asking Him, beseeching Him to perform a miracle in their life. And God shows up because they are full of faith. We need to come to this realization, that if God doesn't show up in our prayer closets then we have nothing!
So let me ask you, are you serving a God that is real and has real power? Power over sickness? Power over disease? Power over circumstances? Power over finances? Power over the enemy? Or are you serving a God who's power is only in the stories?
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