1+1=1?

I've always loved math. I think because no matter how complicated it becomes it's black and white. There's always a solution even if the solution is, "the limit does not exist." Word problems are always fun because before you can answer the problem, you have to understand what the question really is. And I love words as much as I love numbers.

There's a math problem in the Bible that's stumped me for a long time. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

Math is full of absolutes. One of the first things we learn after learning to count is basic addition. 1 + 1 = 2. But that's not what God does he takes 2 and makes it 1. The only way in our human understanding to do this is by subtraction, but that doesn't make sense. So we decide ok we'll add, but we're not really adding 1 and 1, we'll take one half, if we add 1/2 + 1/2 that equals 1. We even tell people that our significant other is our better half. But then that still doesn't make sense, because if I'm only half, then I'm really never whole. Which means I could only ever be whole if I was in a relationship. But even though Tom Cruise told Rene Zellweger, that "you complete me," anyone who has been in a relationship knows how inaccurate this statement really is. No matter how wonderful the person is, they can never fill the void that only being half a person leaves. So where does that leave us? How does this work?

Can I tell you the answer was in the previous text. Let me show you. Genesis 1:28 says, "God blessed them, and God said unto them be fruitful and multiply..."

Our God is a God of multiplication! If you don't believe me just look at what God says to Eve after she sins in the garden. "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception" (3:16, emphasis added). He told them to multiply and then when they disobeyed, His punishment was to multiply her sorrow. God didn't just add to her sorrow he multiplied it! Wow!

Now that we know we're supposed to multiply instead of add, let's see if the math works: 1 × 1 = 1. It does!

Unfortunately, this is not very exciting news, because unfortunately we've been lied to. We've been told we're half. We're half of a whole. So let's do God's math with half: 1/2 × 1/2 = 1/4. What? How can that be? 1/4 is even less than 1/2.

When we get into relationships expecting the other person to complete us what's going to happen is you're going to end up less than you even started with. The other person was never designed to complete you and you were never designed to complete someone else. So instead of adding to each other you really end up taking from each other and making each other less than you were before. How many broken relationships came from the lie that someone else was to complete you? And instead of learning from this, we repeat the insanity. Thinking, they must not have been the right person. 

The truth is you both must be whole first. If you're not whole then you'll always be lacking you'll always be looking for someone to do something they were not designed to do.

Let me clarify, there's a difference between whole and flawless. We will never be flawless. We will screw up. We will fail. We will stumble and make mistakes. But the difference is a whole person is able to admit this, while an unwhole person will attempt to hide their flaws, screw ups, and mistakes. A whole person knows who they are and is comfortable with who they are. They understand their flaws don't define them.

So then what do we do? How do we become this whole person? The first step is knowing you'll never be complete in yourself. What? How does this work then if I'm supposed to be whole, but you're telling me I'll never be complete in myself? That void you feel, that thing you think you lack. That space you've been expecting someone to fill can only be filled by God. He will complete you. You need only ask. He can make you whole. He can bring healing to the deepest depths of your soul. The place you're afraid for anyone else to see, because you think they'll take off running if they only knew. Yield those places to God and He will complete you. He'll make you the whole person you were designed to be. When God began the multiplication process he did it pre-sin. When Adam and Eve were whole, which means the only way we can be whole is to return to the One that first created us.

Next you need to know who you are. Loving and accepting that person as is. Not that we don't work on the areas that are rough, but admitting they're there and being ok with being a work in progress.

Finally, you need to know who you are in God. You need to know who He says you are. You need to speak this truth over yourself until it becomes the very core of your being. At this point you'll be able to walk in confidence, not because of yourself, but because of the loving arms of the Father that has made you and called you His own.

Until you are whole or at least in the process of being made whole in Christ, you will never find your relationships to be the rewarding experience God created them to be. You'll always find yourself less than you were before, because the only way the math works is if you take 1 × 1.

"Who are you?"

Luke 24:13-32 - That same day two of Jesus’ followers were walking to the village of Emmaus, seven miles from Jerusalem. As they walked along they were talking about everything that had happened. As they talked and discussed these things, Jesus himself suddenly came and began walking with them. But God kept them from recognizing him. 
He asked them, “What are you discussing so intently as you walk along?” 
They stopped short, sadness written across their faces. Then one of them, Cleopas, replied, “You must be the only person in Jerusalem who hasn’t heard about all the things that have happened there the last few days.” 
 “What things?” Jesus asked. “The things that happened to Jesus, the man from Nazareth,” they said. “He was a prophet who did powerful miracles, and he was a mighty teacher in the eyes of God and all the people. But our leading priests and other religious leaders handed him over to be condemned to death, and they crucified him. We had hoped he was the Messiah who had come to rescue Israel. This all happened three days ago. Then some women from our group of his followers were at his tomb early this morning, and they came back with an amazing report. They said his body was missing, and they had seen angels who told them Jesus is alive! Some of our men ran out to see, and sure enough, his body was gone, just as the women had said.”
Then Jesus said to them, “You foolish people! You find it so hard to believe all that the prophets wrote in the Scriptures. Wasn’t it clearly predicted that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering his glory?”
Then Jesus took them through the writings of Moses and all the prophets, explaining from all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.By this time they were nearing Emmaus and the end of their journey. Jesus acted as if he were going on, but they begged him, “Stay the night with us, since it is getting late.” So he went home with them. As they sat down to eat, he took the bread and blessed it. Then he broke it and gave it to them. Suddenly, their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And at that moment he disappeared!
They said to each other, “Didn’t our hearts burn within us as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?”

There are so many interesting things about these scriptures, but the thing that intrigues me the most is where it says, "God kept them from recognizing him" (24:16)

Why? Why would He do this? Why would God not reveal himself to them. They were sad and upset over Jesus's crucifixion and here he is risen from the dead; and yet, God keeps them from recognizing him. This doesn't make sense. It almost seems like a cruel joke.

Have you ever walked through a season in life and wondered God where are you? Those seasons are usually pretty dark and it's not until you've made it through that you realize, like these travelers to Emmaus, that God was really with you the whole time. But why would God do that? Why during the darkest days of your life would God hide himself in plain sight from you? This doesn't seem like the loving trustworthy God he's supposed to be; but can I say, the opposite is actually true. God hiding himself from you for a season is the very essence of a loving God. Let me show you.

Jesus asked them, "what are you discussing so intently?" They were incredulous that he didn't know about the crucifixion of Jesus. But their answer to his question, reveals the answer to ours: why would God purposely hide from us? They said, "We had hoped he was the Messiah."

We know that the Messiah came to save us from our sins first and will be coming back again. But these are Jews, their understanding of the Messiah was that he would come as the conquering king. They were looking for a temporary deliverer from their current oppressors. They had a limited perception of who the Messiah was. I believe this is why God kept them from seeing Jesus right in front of them, because look at what happens next... "Then Jesus took them through the writings of Moses and all the prophets explaining from all the Scriptures the things about himself" (24:27).

They had a limited idea of who Jesus was and if their eyes hadn't been purposely blinded to Him, he wouldn't have had an opportunity to reveal himself in a deeper way to them.

Think about a dark season in your life, could it be that you had a limited view of who God was and He wanted to give you a greater revelation of who He is. You've always known the verse that says, "By his stripes we are healed." But it wasn't until you walked through the season of cancer that God revealed himself as the Healer.

You know verses about God restoring the years the cankerworm have destroyed; but  not until, He walked you through the season of teenage rebellion, was he able to reveal Himself to you as Restorer.

Could it be that God is walking you through a dark season in your life, where you're not even sure He's there, because He wants to give you a deeper revelation of Himself? Isn't that exactly what a loving God would do? It seems counterintuitive to us. We think why can't he just tell us who He is. If He was a loving God why would He let me go through this. But the problem is we're just like those travelers on the road to Emmaus, we sometimes have a distorted view of who God is; and it isn't until we walk through these seasons that we can get the deeper revelation of who God is.

Once we've made it through the season, we, like the travelers, understand that God really was with us the whole time. We didn't see Him as we walked through it, but when we came to the end we see, Wow God you really were there. Wow God you really are ______________. Fill in the blank of how God has revealed himself to you. Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Healer, Deliverer, Restorer, Refuge, Provider... Messiah.

It's hard to see anything past the pain and confusion of a dark season, but in the end, if you allow yourself to walk through it and not get stuck in it, I'm sure you will see that God really was with you the whole time, and that you now have a more intimate understanding of who God really is.

Where's God Now?

We have many cliches in Christianity that are not always biblical. The sad part is that we attempt to comfort each other with these untruths.

One of these cliches is,  “God is always on time.” Can I be real? The reality is he's not always on time. Sometimes Jesus doesn't come on time. Sometimes he delays and is late. Sometimes bad things happen and we're left wondering “God where are you?”

John 11 gives an account of Jesus, purposely being late. We know this account very well, but let's pretend for a moment that we don't know the end of the story, because when we're walking through these trials, we don't know the ending. We're unsure of if God is really going to do anything.

Lazarus is sick; and so, Mary and Martha send for Jesus. Vs. 5-6 say, “although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus he stayed where he was for the next two days.” Jesus purposely delayed. Jesus chose not to show up.

Mary, Martha, and Lazarus had walked with Jesus. They'd heard his teachings and seen him perform countless miracles. They knew Jesus. They weren't just “religious” people, they had a relationship with Jesus. He'd eaten in their home and talked with them. He was their friend.  Jesus loved them. And yet, he didn't show up.

I can imagine Martha pacing the house, doing as much for her brother as she knew how; cleaning, cooking him soup, feeding him broth, possibly sending for the doctor when Jesus doesn't show up right away. I see Mary comforting both Martha and Lazarus, “as soon as Jesus gets here everything will be ok. He's coming.” They waited. They prayed, “God, please send Jesus quickly.” And then it happened, Lazarus died.

But we don't need to lose hope yet, they encouraged themselves, don't you remember that little girl, the centurion’s daughter, she died as Jesus was on the way and then he healed her. So let's just wait a little longer. He's got to show up. If he'd do that for them, he has to show up for us, we know him. He's our friend. Still Jesus doesn't come.

The funeral procession has got to get underway, we can't wait any longer. But there's still hope, don't you remember that little boy, they told themselves, he was all the mother had and as they were going to bury him, Jesus showed up. He healed that boy. There's still hope. There's still time.

Can't you see Mary and Martha anxiously looking around as they walk to the tomb? Where's Jesus? He has to be coming. We sent for him. He wasn't that far away. He'll be here. And still he doesn't come.

The body's placed in the tomb. It's anointed with oils and spices. They delay rolling the stone in front of the tomb just a little longer. The people are beginning to complain, we can't wait any longer. The stone seals the tomb. It seals their fate. Lazarus is dead. Jesus didn't show up. There's no hope.

That's when the shock, mourning, and depression set in. The unbelief at the situation. The anger. Jesus hadn't shown up. Why? We called for him. We've walked with him. He did it for others. Why? Why didn't he do it for us? I thought he loved us. I thought he cared. He did it for those people, where was he for us?

That's when the overwhelming darkness covers you like a blanket. All hope is gone. The “comforters” come. God has a plan. It was his time. God needed him in heaven… on and on they quote empty religious cliches hoping to comfort, but nothing can make it through the blanket of utter depression that has settled around you.

Whether facing the death of a loved one or a dream, the intensity of the emotions is the same when God doesn't show up. When Jesus purposely delays. You want to yell out to God, but you're numb. You're angry, but you don't want to admit it because we're not supposed to be angry with God. God is perfect and is in control. And so we stuff these emotions because we have to be strong. We say the right words so everyone thinks we're ok with what God's doing, but the reality is that we don't understand it. We're hurt that Jesus didn't show up.

And then he comes. And we run out to meet him and we say as both Mary and Martha did, “If you'd only shown up this wouldn't have happened.” Can you hear the accusation in their voices? God where were you? You've done it for other people why not for me? Haven't I walked with you? Haven't I communed with you? I thought you loved me. I thought I mattered to you.

God where were you when my marriage fell apart? Where were you when my child was diagnosed with cancer? Where were you when this happened? Where were you? Because if… if you'd shown up, if you really loved me, if you really cared, this wouldn't have happened.

I'm living in this moment. As my son turns 2 years old, it's hard for me to look at him and not think, God where are you?

This past year has been a difficult one for me. Just over a year ago our pediatrician recommended Josiah get evaluated by early intervention because he wasn't hitting his developmental milestones. At nearly a year old he wasn't sitting up by himself, he was inconsistent in rolling over, and on the list went. And in the matter of weeks it went from they all do things in their own time to “this isn't normal.”

So a month before his 1st birthday Josiah was evaluated and it was recommended he begin physical therapy because he lacked muscle tone. They also recommended we see a developmental pediatrician just to make sure it was just low tone. We were told it usually takes 4 months to be able to get in to see a developmental pediatrician, but we were able to get in in 6 weeks.

Two weeks after Josiah's first birthday we sat in the doctor's office for over an hour listening to all the ways that Josiah was delayed. It was overwhelming. It went from just being a little behind because of low muscle tone to very delayed in some areas testing at a 3-4 month old level. And then they suggested he see a neurologist.

Our pediatrician had been telling us since Jo was 6 months that his head was measuring small, but made it seem like it was no big deal and that we'd just keep an eye on it. Because he seemed to minimize it and we were dealing with more pressing matters like another bout of bronchitis, I didn't think anything of it.

So the developmental pediatrician recommended we see a neurologist, just to make sure that there was nothing going on in his brain to cause him to have a small head. We were told the neurologist would probably schedule an MRI and possibly some bloodwork. His appointment was made for the middle January days before baby number 2 was due. Winston and I agreed that no matter what we'd keep the appointment even if he had to take him himself. Thankfully we both were able to be there and as we were told he scheduled an MRI and bloodwork.

Willow was 2 weeks old when I watched my one year old be put under anesthesia for his MRI. We were told that the doctor would call us with the results, if there was anything to tell us, otherwise we would follow-up with the neurologist in 3 months. I remember telling my parents when they'd ask me if I'd heard anything, “I'm not expecting a call. They're only supposed to call if they find something.”

On Valentine's Day, just over a week later, the phone rang. The call I wasn't expecting came. We were told that Josiah's MRI didn't come back the way they were expecting. We were asked to come in two days later to discuss the results with the neurologist. He explained to us that Josiah's brain didn't develop the way it should have. Then he explained that he'd never seen anything like this before. He had no answers for us. He didn't know what it would mean for him or for us. He had no diagnosis for his condition because he couldn't even find research on the issue.

“When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been in the grave for four days” (verse 17). Four days of hopelessness. Four days of grief. Four days of wondering why. Why hadn't Jesus shown up?

Have you ever felt that utter helplessness? Ever struggled with knowing God could, but wondering if God would? You know the scriptures that speak to your situation; whether it be restoration, or healing, or deliverance. You quote them to yourself trying to encourage yourself in the Lord. Yet deep in the depths of your soul you wonder “God where are you now?”

But just as the story didn't end there for Mary and Martha and Lazarus, it won't end there for you either. Even in the hopelessness, even in the darkness, even when it stinks all it takes is one word from the Savior to change the whole situation around. So wherever you're at in the process know that you are loved and God is on the way. His promises are sure!

God hasn't called into my situation, “Lazarus, come forth” ~ yet! But I know He will! I know our miracle is on the way. And whether that's an instantaneous miracle, or a miracle that takes walking through a process of little miracles, I'm going to trust my God to come through! I'm going to trust that God who hears my prayers and answers the cries of my heart has not abandoned me. He has not forgotten me. And although right now it looks like He's late, it looks like He's forgotten, it looks like He's made a mistake, I'm going to trust and believe that He's going to show up in my situation and He's going to speak and when He does... all I'll be able to say is “Wow God!”

Sacrifices of Praise

"Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name." ~ Hebrews 13:15

I think we often confuse praise and worship. Because we lump them together in our services they can often become confused and seen as the same thing. But praise and worship are two different things. And we are expected to bring both to God.The psalms are filled with David exhorting us to "Praise the Lord."

The definition of praise is to offer grateful homage to God as in words or song.

The definition of worship although similar is also vastly different: reverent honor or homage paid to God.

Why then is it a "sacrifice of praise" and not a sacrifice of worship? Because it's hard to be grateful when you're in the prison cell. It's not easy to offer grateful homage to God when you're bound in chains; and yet, this is exactly what we're called to do. We're called to offer "a continual sacrifice of praise." Praise to God is what's going to break the chains in your life. We need to have a spirit of rejoicing in every circumstance in our life. But so many times, we have a hum drum attitude; and even though, we know God can, we don't believe he will. So we offer him our worship because that's what we're supposed to do, but we withhold our praise because praise is difficult. Praise requires us to rejoice about being in chains. It requires us to rejoice when we'd rather crawl up in a ball and die.

In the book of Acts, Paul and Silas were thrust into the inner prison after being beaten. Yet the Bible says that "at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God" (16:25). I don't know about you, but after I've been beaten and thrown into prison I don't really feel like rejoicing and being grateful. And although I've never literally gone through this, life can often make us feel like we've been beat up and thrown into prison. So what do we do in those circumstances? Do we cry and accept our circumstances? Or do we rejoice in who God is? Paul and Silas chose to show gratitude to God in spite of their circumstances and what happened? "Suddenly there was an earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone's bands were loosed" (emphasis added, 16:26). Praise is an attitude of gratefulness to God despite your circumstances. Praise is what breaks chains and opens prison doors.

So many of us are bound and God is saying praise me in the circumstances. "Rejoice evermore" (1 Thessalonians 5:16). Praise allows us to enter God's throne room boldly. It allows us to rise up past our circumstances, past the things we see around us, and show our gratitude to God. It's easy to praise when we're on the mountain top. It's easy to praise when everything is going right. It's a lot harder to praise when we are in the inner prison cell and bound in chains.

We must have an attitude of gratitude. When I think of true gratitude, I think of a child. If a child comes to you and barely whispers thank you, refuses to look you in the eye, and walks away with shoulders slumped, do you really believe they're grateful for what you've done for them? How does their attitude make you feel? On the other hand, if a child comes to you with excitement, eyes alight with pleasure, and thanks you for what you've done barely able to contain themselves, do you believe they're grateful? How does that make you feel?

The Bible tells us that we are to be as little children. Our praise to God should be that as of a little child. We should be excited in our gratitude. We need to shout for joy. And sometimes that's hard. And yet, that's exactly what we need to do.

Has life beaten you up? Thrown you in prison? Are you bound by depression? Oppression? Sin? Then it's time to bring the sacrifice of praise. Lift up your voice in gratitude for all the things God has done, and is going to do. Shout. Dance. Sing. Give God the praise.

What am I lacking?

Have you ever felt that you weren't good enough? Ever wondered is this enough? Am I doing enough? Is it enough to do all the right things? Is being good enough? Ever felt that there was something missing?  That even though you have everything you should there's an emptiness, a longing, a desire for something more? What am I lacking?

As I contemplated this, I thought of the story of the Rich Young Ruler. The story of the Rich Young Ruler is told in three out of four accounts of the gospels: Matthew, Mark, and Luke all retell the story. After reading the three accounts something struck me... I'd like to go through the account in Matthew which is just a little different than the other two accounts.

"And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? And he (Jesus) said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments. He said unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt not murder, thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?" (Matthew 19:16-20).

The Rich Young Ruler asked Jesus a question - "What good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?" Jesus answered the question by saying keep these commandments. Yet the Rich Young Ruler knew, he knew that wasn't good enough, because if it were then he could've walked away confident that he would inherit eternal life. He would have been justified in his belief that everything he'd done up until that point was enough. Instead he asked, what else do I lack? Deep down the Rich Young Ruler knew there was something lacking in his life. That there must be something more than just doing the right thing.

We too innately know that being good enough, doing the right thing, being a moral person isn't good enough. Yet we continue on this path. If I can just stack up enough brownie points, then I'll be set. I'll get into heaven. I know what you're thinking, I'm a Christian. I already know that I can't earn my way into heaven, but it's through believing on Jesus. Great! But don't stop listening yet, the stories not over.

"Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions. Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven" (19:21-23).

The Rich Young Ruler had the right religious title. He was a Jew. He believed in God and had kept the commandments. He had done everything right; and yet, he was lacking. We too can have the right religious title - Christian; do all the right things; and still, be lacking.

A lot of times when we read this passage we get caught up in the fact that the Rich Young Ruler was rich. We read it and think, well I don't have that problem. I'm not rich. We feel confident that we're safe because we're a Christian, we've already chosen to follow Jesus. We're safe.

But the reality is we are rich and we don't even know it. I asked the question at the very beginning do you ever feel that there's something more? Something you're missing? Let me answer that - there is. There is more. Jesus is calling to you, he's saying, "Give this up and come follow me." Only you can answer what the "this" is.

Unfortunately, this is not an easy topic nor is it one that we often hear in our American Christianity. We twist parts of God's Word to make it easy for us to continue living the way we want to live and doing just enough that we feel confident that we're still going to heaven. We talk ourselves out of doing what Jesus asks of us by saying things like, "I just can't believe Jesus would ask me to leave my family, work, home, etc." Or "If He really wanted me to do it, then I wouldn't feel anxious or nervous, I would be at perfect peace."

If you don't think God would ask you to give something up, or to leave your family, or to do something extreme... then you're not understanding the Bible you claim to be reading.

I want to flip over to Mark's account for a moment. "Then Peter began to say unto him, Lo, we have left all, and have followed thee." (10:28, emphasis added).

From reading scriptures we know that when Jesus called Peter to follow him, he left his career, his wife, and possibly a family. And Peter isn't the only one. Abraham left family. Moses left family, position, comfort. Every person God called in all of scripture was asked to give up something, to lay down something, to do God's will. How then can we say, "I just don't think God would ask that of me."

I'm sorry, but I believe the scriptures you say you believe say, "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and forever."

If he's the same, then his call to follow is the same, which means you're going to have to give up something or everything! God's desire for you isn't to be a good person. To do all the right things. There isn't enough good things including ministry that can fulfill the requirement for you to inherit eternal life. The Rich Young Ruler knew this and deep down we know it too.

Last week I heard in church that true freedom is only found in Christ, because God always gives you a choice. The Rich Young Ruler was given a choice, "go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me." I bet you're thinking where's the choice? The choice is to obey or not to. God didn't take everything from him and make the Rich Young Ruler follow him. He gave him the option. He opened the door and said, "Will you walk through? Will you follow me?"

We too have the option. We can choose to do the scary things, the things we don't think God would actually ask of us, because we've justified it away in our Christianese. Or we can choose to continue living and doing what we've always done.

Before you decide let me remind you of Jesus' response to Peter, "Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time ... and in the world to come eternal life" (Mark 10:29-30).

So as you look at the things God is asking you to give up, realize that he offers you this promise, I will give you more than I ever ask you to give up. I've seen this in my life. Look around you, you have too. I have more brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers than I know what to do with. It's called a church family for a reason. When God asks you to give something up he always provides other ways to fill the holes that are left.

"But it's not the same..." We pout. It's not the same as my blood family, my siblings, my parents, my children... Maybe God is trying to increase you in ways that you can't understand, yet. Take a minute to stop listening to all of the arguments for why God wouldn't and consider for a moment that he's saying give this up and follow me?

What are you going to do?

Guarded Hearts

Before posting what you're about to read I want you to know, I talked with my husband and got his permission.

I'm newly married and I'm proud to say that my husband was the only man I've ever seen naked. I've babysat for many years and have changed many diapers. Some boys were circumcised and some were not. So it took me a little while before I connected the dots. Just a few weeks ago I asked my husband, rather bashfully, if he was circumcised. I explained to him, unnecessarily, that I'd never seen a man's private part before, and basically babbled on like a fool while he smiled at me amused. When I finally shut up he said that he wasn't circumcised. This led to the conversation about our coming baby.

It's a BOY!!

So I asked him about circumcising our lil' man. We discussed it and came up with our decision. And because the importance of what I'm writing has nothing to do with the argument pro/con circumcision, I'm not going to tell you what we decided.

What I want to share with you is what came from this conversation with my husband. I was laying in bed and a thought hit me. What was God's point in circumcision? What was He trying to say? So I began to pray. I'm going to share with you what I feel God was saying.

A man's most precious possession is his reproductive organ, his penis. God required Abraham to remove the protective covering from this organ, because God wanted to be his covering, his protection. God wanted Abraham to know that He was going to take care of him down to his very core.

The purpose of the foreskin is to protect the penis from fecal matter and other foreign bodies that could cause infection or harm. And circumcision was God's way of saying, "I'm all you need. I will protect you. I will bless you. I will provide for you. Trust me." God was not only setting His people apart, He was making a covenant with them to be there all in all.
Why is this message so important? Circumcision was done under the law and like most traditions after so many years of just doing it because that's what we're supposed to do we lose the meaning of it. We lose the importance. We do things just because, instead of really understanding what God is trying to say to us.

God knew His people were going to miss the meaning of circumcision. He knew they were going to disobey Him. He knew that they were going to walk away from Him, while performing all the necessary religious acts; and so, in Deuteronomy 30 God says after you fall away and I scatter you among the earth, then I'll call you back to myself, I'll bring you back to my promises, "and God will circumcise your hearts."

This is what God wants to do in us today. Romans 2:28-29 says, "For he is not a Jew who is one outwardly, nor is circumcision that which is outward in the flesh; but he is a Jew which is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the Spirit, not on the letter, whose praise is not from men but from God."

Allow me to make this more personal... You are not a Christian because you wear a cross, carry a Bible, attend church services, and perform all the necessary religious acts. You are a Christian if you're heart is completely surrendered to God. If your most prized possession is laid bare before Him.

God is asking us to circumcise our hearts. Remove the protective covering from around your heart and trust God in a brand-new way.

We've been hurt by people and circumstances. We've decided that nothing in this life is certain, that bad things happen to good people, and the only person that can protect me is me. I'm going to be in control of my life and my destiny. I'm going to protect myself, my family, my future. And so we've built up a thick skin around our hearts and lives to protect ourselves.

And now God is whispering to you, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Will you trust me? Will you allow Me to guide your steps and direct your future? Will you remove the protective covering from around your heart?"
Religious people don't change the world. Just like the Jews lost the meaning of circumcision, we've lost the meaning of giving our hearts to Christ. And so like the Jews, the world is turned off of God because of us. "The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you" (Romans 2:24). Because we perform acts of religious service, but keep our hearts guarded, no one hears our message and they are turned off from God because of us.

God says, "Trust me. Let me be your all in all." Take down the protective covering around your heart today. Allow God to bring healing, deliverance, restoration. Allow God to guide your future. Trust Him to provide for your needs. Allow Him to make you a living testimony.

The life God called Abraham to and the life He's calling you to is not easy. It takes work. It doesn't happen by sitting back and waiting on God to do something. He's already done it. You need to get up and do something. And the first step...

Circumcise your heart.

Just Live With It

As I was in church this Sunday, a thought hit me one that hasn't left me all week, so I must do what I must do... Write!

I was standing in church during the worship service, trying not to be sick. I promise our worship team is great, so it wasn't them making me sick. This pregnancy has been a little rough. Morning sickness doesn't even describe the nearly constant feeling of motion sickness that I describe it as. I had taken the last dose of medicine Friday night, and so Sunday, I was feeling a little queasy. Towards the end of the worship service, my pastor got up and said if anyone has a need, come up front and we'll pray for you. I was back and forth about going up because, hey this is just normal. It's just my life right now. It's just something that I need to live with.

As I thought these thoughts I glanced around the sanctuary and thought, "Hmm... I wonder how many other people in here need prayer, but figure, 'this is just my life, I just need to live with it.' And didn't go up for prayer." Honestly, I've never been afraid to ask God for the little things. Whether, I needed help on a test, or had an ache, or just wanted it to rain that day. He doesn't always answer with a yes. But, I've never been afraid to ask. A lot of people think, I don't want to bug God with the little stuff. Well can I say, if you don't trust God with the little stuff how will you ever trust God with the BIG stuff? I'm not judging, just asking.

I thought about Paul and his thorn in the flesh. I think some of us have thorns, that God didn't intend for us to keep. Paul went to God three times praying that God would take it away, but God said, "my grace is sufficient for thee." Here's my question, have you asked God to take away your problem, or are you figuring that it's just something you need to live with? Paul didn't just put up with it because it was there, but he went to God on different occasions asking for relief, and not until God said that He was enough for Paul, did Paul stop asking and just live with it.

What are you living with that God doesn't intend for you to live with? What area is too small that you're not willing to take it to God, because you don't want to bother Him? The Bible says, "Come to me all you that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." A lot of times it's not the big stuff that weighs us down, but all the little things. All the minor things that we don't want to bother anyone with. God is asking you to come to Him. Come lay those things down. Come share those burdens. Find relief at the altar.

What are you living with because you've stopped asking God about it because He hasn't answered you yet? Paul asked until he got his answer. Jesus tells of an old woman that kept banging on the door of the judges house until she got an answer. Have you given up asking because you haven't gotten an answer yet? It's time to stretch your faith and ask again and again and again, until God gives you an answer. His answer may not be yes, and if that's the case, then yes live with it. But don't give up until you've received an answer.

I never did make it to the altar on Sunday, because I spent too much time praying for the people that were just living with it. But guess what? Sunday was the first time in weeks that I made it through a service without having to flee to the bathroom. God gave me relief and insight all at once. Let me encourage you today to stop, living with it. Seek God and see if relief is right around the corner for you!

Heart Transplant

Sometimes I read a verse and it knocks the wind out of me. It doesn't matter that I've read it a thousand times, it's that one time that makes you think and then say, "Ouch!" As I was reading with my husband last week he read to us from Isaiah 29. The verse that hit me with such a vengeance and didn't allow me to hear the rest of the chapter or the next as he read was verse 13.

"And so the Lords says, 'These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote."

As soon as I heard it, I knew I'd be writing about that verse. Immediately, I knew what was needed... A heart transplant.

I began thinking of the American Church, and how clearly I can hear God say this of his people and say of me, "They say they're mine, they call themselves Christians, but their hearts are far from me. They attend church on Sundays and Holidays, they give up something for lent, they try to live moral lives, they put money in the offering, and they call this worship." This is not what God wants from His people! This is not what He's calling us to. We were created for something more. We need a heart transplant.

However, before we can have a heart transplant, we must first recognize that we have a problem. Until we identify that something is not right, we cannot begin to get it fixed. And let's be honest if you need a heart transplant, that kind of surgery can only be performed by the Physician. So allow the Physician to examine you today and see if you, like me, are in need of a transplant.

Top 3 Symptoms:
1. Lack of ministry to the lost. 
This is one that effects a lot of us and yet we don't even know it. Our hearts are burdened by the world around us. But we do so little to change it, to reach out, to care, to love the people around us. Even our prayers are misguided. We pray, "Lord, send them in (to our churches) bring them to us." Unfortunately we're missing the truth of scripture. Yes, we are to pray. But what does Jesus tell us to pray?
"Then He said to them, 'The harvest truly is great, but the laborers are few, therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into the harvest" (Luke 10:2, emphasis added). Jesus didn't tell us to pray that the harvest would appear in our barns, he said, pray that God would send people out.
I love this time of year, because each week the corn stalks get taller and taller. Soon they'll be ready to pick. If you talk to any farmer or even a gardener, they would laugh in your face if you asked them to pray that the fruit would collect itself into their storehouses. It takes work to bring in the harvest. And yet, this is how we pray. Kind of gives new meaning to the verse, "you ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss" (James 4:3). We're asking to be lazy. We don't know how to talk to people, so it's easier if God would just send them to us, so that we can stay in the comfort of our pews, when God is clearly saying, "Go!" He says, "Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that My house may be filled" (Luke 14:23). Again he says, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature" (Mark 16:15). This small two letter word is a command that requires action. Jesus has commanded us to "go" and that requires us to move.
A lot of times we sit waiting for a green light or for some huge sign that says, "GO!" And we don't move because we're waiting for something that God has already given us. He has clearly told us to go. He says, "If you love me, keep my commandments" (John 14:15). So maybe the problem is that we don't love Him like we think we do. Maybe it's time for a heart transplant.

2. Lack of care for the new believer.
Many of us have been hurt by people in the church, and for this reason we tend to hold people, especially new people at arms length. We want to wait and see what they're all about first. Really we have enough friends and don't need anymore. We prejudge people based on appearances, "I won't have anything in common with that person... They won't like me... They're not the kind of person I associate with..." On and on our excuses go, and then we wonder why new people don't stay in our churches. They're ostracized and made to feel like an outsider. Few take the time to reach out and just love them.
They make choices we wouldn't make, but why don't you take the time to remember back to when you were a new believer, would you have made those same choices then? But what happened, what kept you from continuing in that place? Oh I know, that older Christian that decided to love you where you were at. The person that took the time to disciple you. To invite you into their home. To pour into your life.
You wouldn't be the Christian you are today if a more mature believer hadn't helped to get you there. Now it's your turn. It's your turn to reach out to the new believer. To pour into the life of someone that doesn't fit in your circle. When was the last time you even introduced yourself to someone new at church?
Believe me as I write this I think, "I really don't want to write this, because this is me." I struggle in this area. I struggle with talking with new people, with inviting them into my life and my heart. What's my problem? Fear. Well if that's the case then really I have a heart problem. Because the Bible says, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love" (1 John 4:18, emphasis added). That tells me that I need a heart transplant because I'm allowing fear to keep me from doing what I'm supposed to be doing... making disciples.

3. Lack of restoration of fallen believers.
In any war, there are always wounded. Whether wounded by the enemy, friendly-fire, or self-infliction, people are hurt. In every civilization, do you know what is done to the wounded? They are taken to the hospital or treated by a medic, everything that can be done is done to restore the wounded warrior. But not in our churches! In our churches the wounded Christians are mocked, shunned, and left to die. We leave them with more scars than they received from their fall. But this should not be!
The Bible says, "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness: considering thyself lest thou also be tempted" (Galatians 6:1, KJV).
I was praying one day, and I'm going to be honest, it was a prayer of a pharisee. I was thanking God that I wasn't like someone else I knew that had fallen away from serving Him. They were making some extremely bad choices. The words were barely out of my mouth when I clearly felt Him speak to my spirit, "You are one choice away from being just like them." Ouch!
You see we're all there everyday. We all battle temptations everyday, and sometimes we overcome, and sometimes we fall. If we don't have people in our lives that will help to restore us, then we are going to keep falling until we've committed a "major" sin. Let's be honest, God doesn't have a major and minor league for sin. So your sin of lying, manipulation, gluttony, swearing, is just as bad as fornication, adultery, homosexuality, etc. So instead of standing on your pillar looking down on all those terrible Christians. Do what God says and be part of the restoration process. Let them know that God's love for them hasn't changed. Maybe the reason you can't be a part of someone else's restoration process is because you don't believe God has really done yours. Which means you need a heart transplant. One that will allow you to once again know that God loves you no matter what. No, His grace is not license to sin. The condemnation you feel because of your sin, isn't from God either. Ask him to give you a heart transplant and restore you, so you can turn and help someone else with their restoration process. God is asking more of you!


So now what...
We've recognized we need a heart transplant, where do we go from here? Well it's time to go to the Physician. Tell the Physician that you've lost your love for Him, and for the people around you. Tell Him that you're tired of playing church, and want to experience all He has for you again. Tell Him that you need a heart transplant. Then begin taking the steps that will lead to your recovery.

See just because I know I need something doesn't mean I'm ready to change my lifestyle. But if we don't, then we're not going to be any better off than we were before, actually it's going to be worse, because now we're responsible for that knowledge. After a surgery the doctor gives specific steps that need to be taken to ensure that we remain healthy. It's the same with God. Now that we are aware of the problem, we've asked God for a transplant, now we need to begin taking steps to keep our new heart healthy.

For every person that's going to look different. Also don't try to do everything at once. Choose one thing. One area to work on. Go use your new heart to be obedient to God. Go and show your love for Him, by loving others. Invite someone to church. Reach out to that new person. Call the person that hasn't been in church in awhile. Love God, by loving people. Remember the sacrifice He made for you, and offer that same hope, joy, and peace to those around you! Share your heart for God!

The Plateau

I think the hardest thing to do in life is to give an honest evaluation of ourselves. In school, I always hated when the teacher would ask us to grade ourselves. If we gave ourselves a grade that was too high, then we were proud and arrogant, if too low then we lacked self-esteem and confidence. When the truth is it's just not easy to give yourself a fair assessment. There are times when I'm my own worst critic and then there are times when I'm full of confidence knowing I've gotten something right. Then there are times where I'm just not sure where I stand. I'm just average... somewhere in the middle.

When we evaluate ourselves we need a measure. Something to compare us to. If you ask me how I did and don't give me something to compare it to it's not really an easy assessment to make. Often times we use the wrong measure. We use people as our measure instead of using the Standard. In our world and in our society, where everything is accepted and nothing is unacceptable, it's hard to have a good measure, because what's good for you might not be what's good for me. Unfortunately, this way of thinking is wrong. There are absolutes. 2+2=4 Even in common core, even if there way of coming to the right answer is different than the way you were taught. There are things that are right and there are things that are wrong. 

So where's the standard? The Bible. The Bible is the only thing that has not changed. It's God's Word and as His Word it will remain forever. Heaven and earth will pass away, but His Word will remain forever. So because of this, we must use this as our measure of how we're really doing.

But there's still room for error. I'd like to call it the Christian Plateau. When we first get saved, everything is new and exciting. We can't wait to go to church, We can't wait to read our Bible or share our experience with every person we see. We're excited and on fire. We grow at an enormous rate. While we're out there, we hear things from seasoned Christians like, "Oh just wait, you'll calm down eventually." We think to ourselves, 'boy, I hope I don't become like them.'

Slowly our uphill climb changes from a mountain to a hill until finally we've arrived. How do we know we've arrived? Well just look around because everyone else is here too. The Spiritual elite are here with us. This is it! We breathe a sigh of relief and begin mingling with the other mature believers. Occasionally, we peer over the edge and see the new Christians charging up the hill and think, 'Oh, they'll calm down eventually.'

Look around, you are not on the summit you are on the plateau! You are in a dangerous place. The people you are surrounded by have fallen into a trap. A trap of complacency. A trap of becoming judgmental. A trap of arrogance and self-serving Christianity. 

It's time to take inventory of where you are. But you must do it not by comparing yourself to the people that are around you but to the Word of God.

2 Peter 1:3-4

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires" (emphasis added).

A lot of us stop here. We participated in God's divine nature. We used to tell people regularly about Jesus and we still do occasionally - "when the Spirit moves us." We used to read and pray everyday before the busyness of life took over. But I mean, we still read the verse of the day and most of the time we remember to pray before we eat and of course we say a rote prayer as we close our eyes at night. But look at us... we have escaped the corruption of the world. We are not like them. They're evil. They're a lost cause. There's nothing we can do to help them because they don't want to listen to us.

Can you blame them? You're looking down on them from your Christian Plateau with your nose so high in the air everyone can see your boogers. This is not where we're meant to be. It's time to grow again.

2 Peter 1:5-8 Continues...

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ" (emphasis added).

Take an honest evaluation of yourself. Is your knowledge of Jesus Christ effective and productive? Well, how can we tell? Are you completing the mission given to us by the Lord. "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature." This is our litmus test. How are we doing at fulfilling the great commission? It was not given for an elect few. But to all that believed He gave the power to become Sons of God. As a Son/Daughter of God it's your responsibility to be sharing that news with others. To be encouraging the brethren. To be adding to our faith in these areas. It's time to get off the plateau and begin increasing again. 

If you can honestly say, "I'm not being productive right now. I'm not being effective." That's great allow God's conviction to allow you to begin growing again. Don't let people discourage you from what God is calling you to do! It's time to grow again.

Knitting Needles

There are times when I like to take the Word very literally. I quote back to God specific promises.




The other night I was lying in bed feeling a little discouraged because even though I'm pregnant i don't feel pregnant, other than being sick. So as I was talking to God about my feelings, I remembered the verses from Psalm 139, that say, ' you knit me together in my mother's womb.' As I was contemplating this verse. I thought of the little miracle forming inside of me. An instant later I began to imagine the knitting needles. I could almost see and feel them on either side of my stomach and attached to the end was the little bundle of joy that I'll be meeting in a few short months. I could see that God was doing a work even though I couldn't feel it.




How many times do we get discouraged because we don't feel God? We know He's there intellectually, the same way I know there's a baby growing inside of me. But we get hung up because we don't feel anything. Be encouraged, just like God is knitting together the baby inside my womb and in a few weeks I'll begin to feel it moving, God is working in your life even if you can't feel Him at this time, and in a little while you'll begin to feel again too.




What promise had God given you that you've almost given up on, because you don't feel God working in this area of your life or ministry? Where are you struggling in your walk because you don't see the fruits yet or feel God? Are you ready to throw in the towel because church is dry and you don't feel God in the services?




It's time to take your knowledge and align your feelings to the truth of scripture. The truth in my life is there is a life growing inside me even though it doesn't feel like it right now. The truth is God is working even though I can't see it. The truth is God has never gone back on a single promise. Take out your dusty Bible and meditate on the truth of scripture. Allow the Truth to change your feelings. Realize that God's not done yet. And this just might be a season of growing your faith by increasing you knowledge of the Truth.




The truth is only found in scripture. It's not found in feelings, thoughts, emotions, or anything else. It's found in the Word of God. So if you're discouraged, dry, empty, ready to throw in the towel, then it's time to align your feelings with the Truth and remember that God is at work no matter what you feel.




Take time today to reflect on the scripture that ignited the promise God made to you. Realize that God's not done yet. Even if everything is upside down, as long as your walking with God, know that soon you'll feel right side up again.




God is working. God has never quit. Never forgotten a promise He made. Never abandoned His work. Never taken a sabbatical. God is not done yet!




Keep walking. Keep praying. Keep seeking. Keep reading. Keep trusting. No matter what you're feeling don't give up!

A Letter to Seasoned Christians

Dear Seasoned Christian,
Have you ever seen an "adult" that clearly stopped growing at a certain age? Like a thirty year old that's still acting like they're in high school? They continue to "relive" their glory days but never move past them. They're stunted and annoying and you almost feel sorry for those poor saps.

They say teenagers know everything, but I think it starts earlier than that. Have you ever tried giving information to a seven, eight, or nine year old? Their response is, "I know. I know." As adults we sit back and shake our heads thinking, you really don't know. What would happen if these 7 year olds stopped growing? I don't mean physically, but mentally and emotionally. Our society in a few years would be run by adult children. Can you see the disaster that would await us?

And yet, this is the norm in our churches. What do I mean by this? I came across a statistic that I'd heard at a conference 6 years ago. Rereading it I was just as astounded by it as I had been when I first heard it. The speaker said, "The average Christian stops growing 7-9 years after getting saved."
I've been a Christian for almost 28 years, but am I really only 7 or 8 spiritually? What about you?

As I've been pondering this thought some things hit me. Here are 10 ways to judge whether you've stopped growing:

1. Do you listen to a sermon and think, "I know this, I know this" instead of allowing God to talk to you or show you something new?

2. Are your prayers generic? Thanks God for this day... Forgive me for my sins, I'm not sure exactly what I did, but I know I must've done something because everyone sins... Watch over us... Amen.

3. Do you read your Bible just because that's what you're supposed to do, but never really expect to get anything out of it?

4. How are you serving? Is it out of a heart of love for God and people or just a duty to be crossed off your spiritual checklist?
Church of Ephesus - Revelation 2:1-7
The church of Ephesus had this problem. They were full of good works. They were doing all the right things, but they didn't love God or each other the way they should've. We weren't meant to serve just to serve. If it doesn't come out of a heart of love, love for God and a love for people than it's pointless.

5. How is your faith in the face of persecution and trials? Do you stand strong trusting in God or do you question "why me" and run away?
Church of Smyrna - Revelation 2:8-11
God warned the church of Smyrna that they were about to be thrown in prison, but anyone that endured would receive the crown of life. We aren't always warned that we're about to walk through a specific trial, but we should know they're coming. God tells us "in this life you will have trials and tribulations, but take heart, I have overcome the world." Don't allow your trials to stunt your growth!

6. What sin do you tolerate in your life and in the lives of the people around you? Do you justify sin by saying things like, "I'm only human" or "everyone struggles with that"?
Church of Pergamum - Revelation 2:12-17
The church of Pergamum were tolerating sin. We say, "hate the sin, but love the sinner." But tolerating sin isn't loving the sinner, it's ignoring the sin. There is right and wrong. There are clear black and white guidelines and we need to stop justifying sin in the lives of others, because sin spreads. I heard a quote as a teenager and have seen the truth of it, "what parents allow in moderation, children will do in excess." What we allow in our churches and in our lives will spread and multiply, it will stunt our growth and the growth of those around us. We need to call things what they are. And sin is sin.

7. Who are you listening to? Do your friends encourage you in your sin or do they gently rebuke you?
Church of Thyratira - Revelation 2:18-29
The church of Thyratira clearly had a problem. They were listening to Jezebel. Sometimes the things said to us are blatantly wrong like Jezebel teaching "them to commit sexual sin and to eat food offered to idols." But other times it's subtle. Don't allow mediocrity to creep in. Don't allow your heart to be hardened to sin. Don't let others encourage your sin. And definitely don't encourage other's in their sin. Also realize if someone is being convicted of something don't try to convince them that it's ok to do, because the Bible clearly says, "what's sin for some may not be sin for others." So don't try to legalize what God is doing in that person. As we grow, God is pulling us closer to Himself, which means things in our lives, even good things might be required to go.

8. Are you dead? Or spiritually sleep walking?
Church of Sardis - Revelation 3:1-6
The church of Sardis had a reputation for being alive. I assume that meant their worship was hopping, their sermons were lively. The church was full of "Hallelujah" and "Amen." Yet God, who sees the deeper picture, says, you're dead. Have you ever went through the motions and yet your heart wasn't in it. I've been there. Do all the right things, say all the right things, nod and say amen; and yet, inwardly I was dead. There was no life in me. I was a white-washed tomb. Thankfully, we have a God who is the Resurrection and the Life and He's calling to you to WAKE-UP!

9. Are you indifferent? "I have everything I need... I'm going to heaven... That's all that matters."
Church of Laodicea - Revelation 3:14-22
The church of Laodicea was luke-warm. As a kid I remember thinking why would God want them to be cold toward Him. I feel like I got some insight today as I was contemplating these verses. Have you ever met a person who's just a breath of fresh air. They revitalize and refresh you. That's what cold water does. As for hot water, we all know that person who is passionate and driven. But what about lukewarm... Lukewarm water negatively effects everything it touches. If you put it with cold water it spreads it's little bit of warmth and makes the cold water no longer refreshing. If you mix it with hot water it sucks the heat out of it, and again makes it no longer useful. Have you ever been around someone that sucks the life out of you? That's what lukewarm looks like. Are you a life sucker? Then it's time to decide, either be passionate or refreshing, but either way it's time to change!

10. Can you honestly say you're faithful? Even in your weakness you're continuing to trust and obey God? God is opening doors for you in ministry? If that's you great, you're still growing. Keep growing. Hold tightly to what you have.
Church of Philadelphia - Revelation 3:7-13
The church of Philadelphia was the only church that God didn't say I have something against you. Even in their weakness they were faithful to God. They didn't let the things of this world diminish their love for God or each other. They were faithful. They were growing and God was opening doors for them.


I don't have it altogether. There are times in my life where I can look back and see tremendous growth. Then there are times like now where I feel stagnant. The great thing about God, is He loves us so much, He provides us with warnings and wake up calls. If you realize, wow I really haven't grown in awhile, well now is the time. Start over. Pick up your Bible and ask God for fresh insight. Ask Him to help you. He's not going to say, "you did this to yourself, now figure it out." He's going to say, "My son, My daughter, let Me prune you. Let Me cut off the dead branches, so you can begin to grow again. Let Me shower you with My Spirit and feed you with My Word. Let My love radiate in your hearts."

Take an honest evaluation of where you are right now. Not where you were 5 years ago when you went through that enormous trial, but where you are now. Because you might've been growing then and aren't now. Or you might've already realized wow I've not really grown in awhile and are taking steps to start growing again. Don't get discouraged, just decide to push forward today. Decide today, I'm going to begin growing again. Let God wash over you in a new way and refresh the work he wants to do in you. It's time to grow again.

"Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches." Revelation 3:22

God's Not Done Yet!

I've been going through my writings and have felt the stirring to begin writing again, but.nothing has come to me. At least not in the usual way. Normally, I'll have a thought and it will roll around in my head until a thesis is well formed. Once that has been thoroughly developed the arguments or reasoning to back up my statements will come. Once the idea has been thoroughly argued and the thought has been firmly cemented I will sit down to write and it will just flow. As it flows it will change and grow, but the original idea has primarily stayed in tact.

But not this time...

This time it's 4:54 in the morning, I'm sitting in the dark on my couch, the only light coming from my computer screen, and my cat is randomly jumping up to attack my hands as I type.

So what is it I want to say...

God's not done yet!

Almost 3 months ago I got married. It has been amazing. I'd be lying to tell you that everything has been perfect and I'm always walking on cloud nine. But I knew that. I walked in to marriage with my eyes wide open. I knew we'd disagree. I knew we'd have our spats. And so I don't feel like I was surprised by them when they happened. But I don't want to talk with you about my marriage. At least not today.

What I want to share with you is that marriage isn't a destination, it's another spot on the journey. Instead of my walking the path God has for me alone, I'm now walking it with another person. But God isn't done yet!

If marriage was the destination, then I could sit back with a sigh and say, "Ahh,,, I've arrived." If that were the case I wouldn't feel this stirring. This desire for more. Not that my marriage isn't satisfying because it is on so many levels I didn't even know about. I'm talking about that God restlessness... The kind that comes from knowing you have a job to do. Knowing that God is calling you to something more but not being sure how to get there.

For a few years I was content. I was working in ministry and I was exactly in the place that I knew God wanted me to be. Last year I began to realize that my time there was coming to an end. At first I fought it and thought there must be something wrong with me for feeling this way because I'm right where God wants me to be.

And then God began bringing me new work to do, and my excitement for ministry grew in a new way. One I'd never have thought of. God was showing me that even though I was done in one area didn't mean He was done with me yet.

So as I began this new journey while still wrapping up the old, I found the one my soul loves. God brought me my husband. And we began a new journey together. We dreamed and we talked both about the wedding and the future. We planned a most beautiful day. But that's all it was just one day. It was perfect even the little hitch of the cake falling on it's transport to the reception hall was not a big deal at all. I was marrying the man God had just for me.

But God's not done yet!

And so as I sit contemplating the next phase of our journey, there's only one thing I'm sure of...

There's still more work to do. God still has a plan for our lives and He has a job that He wants us to accomplish. I'm not exactly sure what that is or how we will get there. As a planner this bugs me a little. You think I would learn after all these years of trying to "help" God. But I sometimes (a lot) fall back in to that habit of "helping" God accomplish His plans. Which generally involves me messing them up and having to repent and go back and wait on God anyway, but I digress.

God's not done. Marriage, as wonderful as it is, is not a destination. It's a pit stop. A pit stop where you pick up an extra passenger on the journey where God is the driver. And so as I feel the car being started and the momentum starting to build, so does my excitement.

A life in pursuit of marriage, career, children, money... is meaningless. Solomon calls it vanity.

But a life in pursuit of God is fulfilling and full of wonder. And so as of right now I'm not sure of where the next portion of our journey will take us, I am sure of who is leading us. I know God has a plan and that He's not done yet.

So be encouraged, if you're resting at one of the God ordained pit stops or travelling down the highway at top speed or maybe you're on the back country road with many twists and turns you didn't see coming or wherever you are on your journey. Be encouraged because God's not done yet! He still has a plan. He's still in control.

Remember, nothing we come to here in this life is the destination. Our destination is, "Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord." (Matthew 25:21).

Heaven is our destination. Don't lose sight of that while travelling on your journey.

God's not done yet!

Dreams Embraced

We all have dreams; whether, we admit it or not that's a separate issue. There are dreams that dwell deep inside of us from our earliest memories. Our dreams may change as we grow older. When I was six my dream was to be a firefighter or police officer, as is the case with most kids.

As Christians, we're told that God has a plan for us and so we may begin seeking God's dream for our lives. But often God's dreams are hard or confusing. We don't necessarily understand them right away. I'd like to share with you a little about my journey of embracing God dreams for my life. But first I'd like to share the story of another dreamer.

Joseph... (Genesis 37:3-11 NKJV)
   "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him.

   Now Joseph had a dream, and he told it to his brothers; and they hated him even more. So he said to them, “Please hear this dream which I have dreamed: There we were, binding sheaves in the field. Then behold, my sheaf arose and also stood upright; and indeed your sheaves stood all around and bowed down to my sheaf.”

   And his brothers said to him, “Shall you indeed reign over us? Or shall you indeed have dominion over us?” So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words.

   Then he dreamed still another dream and told it to his brothers, and said, “Look, I have dreamed another dream. And this time, the sun, the moon, and the eleven stars bowed down to me.”

   So he told it to his father and his brothers; and his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have dreamed? Shall your mother and I and your brothers indeed come to bow down to the earth before you?” And his brothers envied him, but his father kept the matter in mind.

There are a couple things that I want to highlight with this. First is Joseph's dreams were God dreams. He literally went to sleep and had these dreams. They were God-given. I want you to forget for a moment that you know the end of the story. God gave Joseph a dream and in that dream his family was bowing down to him.

God showed Joseph a piece of the puzzle that God had for him. In Joseph's dream, God gave him a destination. Joseph's "destination" was that he the second to youngest son would rise up and be ruler over his entire family. Naturally his brothers guffawed, they were incredulous. "How dare you, you little pip squeak, think that you will lord over us?" Even his father rebuked him, but his father had walked with God for a long time, and so "his father kept the matter in mind" (37:11).

We all know that the quickest way from point A to point B is a straight line.  And so, Israel, who "kept the matter in mind," sends Joseph to "go check on your brothers" (37:14). I feel like Jacob (Israel) knew that God was giving Joseph these dreams and that God was going to put him in charge of the family. So Jacob decides to help God out. He gives Joseph some leadership and tells him to go check on his brothers.

God dreams done in our understanding - at the very best - can only become a good dream.

At 15, I felt the call of God on my life to go into ministry. That meant I was going to be a pastor. I had it all figured out. As I grew I met a lot of opposition, because "women shouldn't be pastors." And everyone had "Biblical" explanations for why I couldn't be, but when I challenged their views with other Biblical insight, I was quickly dismissed. God helped me to stand firm on what He was calling me to do, despite the naysayers.

As my high school graduation came up, I began to get confused. God you called me to be a pastor. Now what do I do. A lot of people got frustrated with me because I hadn't put in applications for college. But every time I prayed about it I felt God telling me no and wait. Soon it was fall and my friends were going off to college, but I still didn't know what to do. I worked for a whole year, continuing to pray. My friend Sarah came home from an Assemblies of God university and spoke with me about it. I looked it up and decided I would apply. I could feel God telling me "no." But I justified because someone in authority over me said, "Sometimes we just need to take a step and not worry about if it's a wrong step. We need to be willing to allow God to direct us as we move forward. We can't just sit and wait, afraid of taking a step." I thought ok this seems, logical, God's calling me to be a pastor, so I have to go to Bible college. I was too late to make it for the fall semester so I enrolled in the spring semester and flew to Texas. It was an experience. I loved it and I hated it. Deep down I knew it's not where I was supposed to be, but what other choice did I have. I was going to be a pastor, so I had to go to Bible school.

I knew a tiny piece of the puzzle about what God's plan was for my life, and acted like I knew everything. I had the whole puzzle put together in my mind. I look back and am embarrassed at my arrogance. I spent one semester there and didn't return.

God dreams turned to Nightmares... (Genesis 37:14a, 18-28)

   Then he said to him, “Please go and see if it is well with your brothers and well with the flocks, and bring back word to me.”

   Now when they saw him afar off, even before he came near them, they conspired against him to kill him. Then they said to one another, “Look, this dreamer is coming! Come therefore, let us now kill him and cast him into some pit; and we shall say, ‘Some wild beast has devoured him.’ We shall see what will become of his dreams!”

   But Reuben heard it, and he delivered him out of their hands, and said, “Let us not kill him.” And Reuben said to them, “Shed no blood, but cast him into this pit which is in the wilderness, and do not lay a hand on him”—that he might deliver him out of their hands, and bring him back to his father. So it came to pass, when Joseph had come to his brothers, that they stripped Joseph of his tunic, the tunic of many colors that was on him. Then they took him and cast him into a pit. And the pit was empty; there was no water in it.

   And they sat down to eat a meal. Then they lifted their eyes and looked, and there was a company of Ishmaelites, coming from Gilead with their camels, bearing spices, balm, and myrrh, on their way to carry them down to Egypt. So Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is there if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? Come and let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother and our flesh.” And his brothers listened. Then Midianite traders passed by; so the brothers pulled Joseph up and lifted him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty shekels of silver. And they took Joseph to Egypt.

Jacob in his understanding sends Joseph to check on his brothers. He gave him this leadership role, and asked his son to report back to him. But the timing was wrong. It wasn't time for Joseph to lead his family. So trouble arises. Joseph is captured and sold into slavery by his brothers. And so now the dream dies for Jacob.

God dreams for your life don't just matter to you, they also matter to the people around you.

Joseph was his father's favorite. Jacob had great dreams and plans for his son. He understood that God was going to make him a leader and that's why Jacob poured into his son. And then just like that the dream that Joseph had for his son died.

There's going to come a point on your journey with God, that God is going to require you surrender the dream He gave you. This usually comes with a lot of "why God's?"

Obstacles to God Dreams

We are going to face obstacles to God dreams. There are three types of obstacles that we can observe from Josephs life: dead ends, roadblocks, and detours.

Joseph being thrown into that cistern was a dead end for him. There was no place for him to go. I'm sure when his brothers brought him up he had a moment of relief before he realized what was going on. And at that moment he probably too felt like his dream had died. He was sold as a slave. He was no longer their younger brother he was brought even lower. He was now a slave.

When I finished my one semester at Bible college and clearly felt God saying no when I was preparing to go back. I felt like I came to a dead end. I had no idea what to do or where to go. I began floundering. I asked God over and over to show me what to do, but had no clear direction. Then my dad said, either you get a job or you get out. I got a job at McDonald's. It was definitely a humbling experience to be working at McDonald's at twenty years old. Most of my friends were almost done with college and here I was taking a job that high schoolers usually take. But I decided that I was going to do my very best. I had learned early that "whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men" (Colossians 3:23).

Joseph took on this same attitude. (Genesis 39:1-4)

Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. And Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him down there. The LORD was with Joseph, and he was a successful man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian. And his master saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD made all he did to prosper in his hand. So Joseph found favor in his sight, and served him. Then he made him overseer of his house, and all that he had he put under his authority.

God used Joseph's seemingly dead end, to begin training Joseph for leadership. If Joseph had decided to curl up and die at that dead end, he would've not been able to be used by God. We're going to face obstacles. We're going to come to points where we look up and say, "Really God. You've got to do something." But God is not finished. Things begin going well for Joseph, he's put in charge of everything. He chose to work his hardest and God was with him. He gave him favor.  And people begin to take notice. I'm sure he was dreaming of the day that his master would set him free. Or maybe he'd be able to purchase his freedom. Then he could get back to the dream God gave him. He'd go back and show his brothers. This is all my speculation, of course, but sometimes we forget that the people of the Bible were human just like us.

At 25, I began looking into schools again. But I could feel that same roadblock in my spirit. I could feel God saying, "no this isn't what I have for you." I got frustrated. Because I knew that I was called to be a pastor, but God had also put me into a position of leadership in my church and so I couldn't understand how God was going to move. I didn't understand how he was going to accomplish this. So after wrestling with it for several months, I finally surrendered it to God. I said, "Fine God, You can have it. I'm done looking. When You're ready for me to be a pastor, You can show me what to do. But can You please use Pastor Siegfried to show me, so that I know it's You." Can I tell you, there is peace in truly surrendering something to God. I had been wrestling and trying for months to figure out what God wanted me to do, and I couldn't figure it out. But in that moment of complete surrender to God there came peace. And do you want to know what happened two weeks later? God answered my prayer. Ten years to the month (December), God gave me the next piece of the puzzle. I was to begin taking classes at DSOM.

Joseph's Roadblock (Genesis 39:11-20)

But it happened about this time, when Joseph went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the house was inside, that she caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her hand, and fled and ran outside. And so it was, when she saw that he had left his garment in her hand and fled outside, that she called to the men of her house and spoke to them, saying, “See, he has brought in to us a Hebrew to mock us. He came in to me to lie with me, and I cried out with a loud voice. And it happened, when he heard that I lifted my voice and cried out, that he left his garment with me, and fled and went outside.”

   So she kept his garment with her until his master came home. Then she spoke to him with words like these, saying, “The Hebrew servant whom you brought to us came in to me to mock me; so it happened, as I lifted my voice and cried out, that he left his garment with me and fled outside.”

   So it was, when his master heard the words which his wife spoke to him, saying, “Your servant did to me after this manner,” that his anger was aroused. Then Joseph’s master took him and put him into the prison, a place where the king’s prisoners were confined. And he was there in the prison.

I'm sure that if Joseph had been dreaming of his freedom, his dreams were surely dashed with the clank of the jail cell doors. "But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and He gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison" (39:21). Even in these dark days God was with Joseph. God is still guiding Joseph's path. God is still in control. God is with Joseph.

"Many times God's call on our life leads us away from our comfort zone into new territory where our dependence upon Him must significantly increase." ~ Unknown (taken from picture on Facebook)

We don't always understand why God puts roadblocks in our path. Why we can't just take a straight line and go from point A to point B. But do not doubt that God is in control. And if you are seeking Him. If you are trusting God with your life, He promises to direct your steps. So even in the prison cell know He is there.

I was almost in my second year of classes when I felt God speak to my heart. He said, "Jenn, you're holding so tightly onto what you think My will is for your life that I have no room to move you." I was flabbergasted, God what do you mean? I thought this was your plan for my life? I thought this is what you wanted me to be doing? You finally gave me the green light and now You're telling me this isn't where I'm supposed to go? What's going on? Then I felt God speak five little words to my heart, "Get ready for the detour."

God will bring detours into our life to refocus us on Him, to bring about His plan for our life not ours.

Joseph also faced a detour (Genesis 40:1-8, 20-23)

   It came to pass after these things that the butler and the baker of the king of Egypt offended their lord, the king of Egypt. And Pharaoh was angry with his two officers, the chief butler and the chief baker. So he put them in custody in the house of the captain of the guard, in the prison, the place where Joseph was confined. And the captain of the guard charged Joseph with them, and he served them; so they were in custody for a while.

   Then the butler and the baker of the king of Egypt, who were confined in the prison, had a dream, both of them, each man’s dream in one night and each man’s dream with its own interpretation. And Joseph came in to them in the morning and looked at them, and saw that they were sad. So he asked Pharaoh’s officers who were with him in the custody of his lord’s house, saying, “Why do you look so sad today?”

   And they said to him, “We each have had a dream, and there is no interpreter of it.”

So Joseph said to them, “Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell them to me, please.”

   Now it came to pass on the third day, which was Pharaoh’s birthday, that he made a feast for all his servants; and he lifted up the head of the chief butler and of the chief baker among his servants. Then he restored the chief butler to his butlership again, and he placed the cup in Pharaoh’s hand. But he hanged the chief baker, as Joseph had interpreted to them. Yet the chief butler did not remember Joseph, but forgot him.

I'm sure Joseph was hoping that by the chief butler remembering him, he would be freed from prison. Joseph acknowledged that God gives dreams, by acknowledging only God can give the interpretation. I wonder if Joseph began to remember the dream that God gave him. And started making plans for how he might accomplish those dreams when he was released from prison. Unfortunately, he wasn't remembered. And so he continued to wait in prison.

Detours generally cause us to take longer to get to our destination. If I see a detour on the road I don't get excited about it because I know it's going to take me longer to get where I'm going. It's frustrating and discouraging. But what are we doing in the waiting?

The important thing isn't where we serve, but how. The question is not "what does (God) have for me in the future?" but "Am I obedient to Him right now?" And you can walk in obedience wherever you live and serve. ~ Janette Oke

Embracing God's dream for your life means serving God right where your at. God will direct your steps as long as you're open to be moved by God. We must be willing to fully surrender the dreams and plans we have for our lives. That doesn't mean we don't take steps, but it's knowing that ultimately God is in control. And so for some people it's not a straight shot from point A to point B. For some people it is. And that was really frustrating to me for a long time. I didn't understand how some people God would move quickly while it seemed it took me forever to move. But God showed me that His plans for my life weren't the same as His plans for others. I needed to be concerned with what He wanted me to do, not what He had others doing. I needed to embrace His dream, His plan, and His path for my life.

Finally, Joseph is remembered. He's put in the place of leadership. Second in command of all of Egypt. And his dream is fulfilled. His brothers come and bow down before him.

God's dream for you is less about the destination and more about the journey. Embrace God's journey for your life.

"I DECLARE that God has a great plan about my life. He is directing my steps. And even though I may not always understand how, I know my situation is not a surprise to God. He will work out every detail to my advantage. In His perfect timing everything will turn out right. This is my declaration." ~ Unknown (taken from picture on Facebook)