Fiction Friday... Alyssa

Disclaimer: The characters and events in my writings are 100% fictional and in no way depict real people, scenarios, or events. If you see yourself in my writing I had no intention of putting you there.
Additional Disclaimer: This story is extremely sad and although it does not depict anyone in real life, these events occur way too often in our society. If you have a hard time with sad stories about children, you may not want to read this one!

Just to help dispel some of the potential confusion. Each of these prequels focuses on a separate area of the girls' childhood. These are to help define the girls' character's and explain in a brief way, why they are the way they are.  

 

Alyssa

 

   Alyssa could hear her baby sister crying, but there was nothing she could do about it. She was afraid, if they heard her crying it would be bad. Alyssa groped around the black room trying to find a way out. She tripped on the shoes that lined the floor of the small room. Clothes hit her in the face as she reached for the walls. Three walls inspected it had to be the other one. As she reached for what she hoped was the door knob, the door swung open. Alyssa froze.

   "I told you to be quiet in here." The angry man yelled in her face. "Here keep her quiet or I will." The man tossed the two-year old at Alyssa, knocking them both over.

   Three-year old Alyssa sat rocking her baby sister, singing softly in her ear. Seara hushed and soon fell asleep. Alyssa's eyes adjusted to the darkness. She could hear the loud music coming from the other rooms. A strange smell was coming from under the door. She didn't understand why they were here. Alyssa fell asleep clinging to her baby sister. She would do everything she could to protect her.

   Alyssa awoke to silence. She was hungry and thirsty. Seara began to stir. Alyssa quickly hushed her and told her to stay put. Reaching up, Alyssa found the door knob. As slowly and quietly as she could Alyssa turned the knob. The door began to creak loudly, the sound echoing around the small space. Alyssa's heart stopped. If they knew what she was doing it would be bad. Alyssa moved ever so slowly, the door was opened enough that she could peek out. She could see the couch. A man, not the same man, was lying there asleep, an arm and leg hanging off the couch, a glass bottle tipped on it's side beneath his fingers. Alyssa opened the door some more, the man didn't move. Finally able to peek her whole head out, Alyssa looked around. There were stairs in the living room, straight ahead was the kitchen, and next to that was the bathroom.

   Seara made some noises that Alyssa knew meant she was thirsty. Alyssa told her sister to sit and she would be right back. Seara waited. She had learned early on that she needed to do what her sister said. Alyssa tiptoed to the kitchen, the counters were too high to reach any of the cups in the cupboard and if she tried to climb up, she'd learned from the past, would make too much noise and wake someone up. Alyssa found a plastic cup lying on the floor next to the garbage can. She took the cup to the bathroom, ever so quietly Alyssa dipped the cup in the toilet. Tiptoeing back to the closet Alyssa brought the cup to her sister. Her stomach grumbled. Looking around she decided she needed to get them some food. On the small table next to the man on the couch was a bag of chips. Maybe if she was quiet no one would hear her.

   Just as she reached the chips she heard someone on the stairs. Mom. Alyssa's eyes grew large like a deer in the headlights. At first her mother didn't see her. Alyssa stood still hoping she wouldn't get in trouble. Then her mother's eyes focused on her and the sneer that ran across her face caused Alyssa's heart to stop. In moments her mother had grabbed her and began shaking her, screaming that she was a little thief.
   The man on the couch stirred and rescued Alyssa. Yanking Alyssa from her mother's grasp, Alyssa screamed as she heard a pop. Both adults froze. Alyssa's right arm hung limply by her side.

   Alyssa awoke in a cold sweat. Her heart pounding. She looked around the room, the lamp on her night-stand casting a faint glow in the room. She was safe. It had been three years since that had happened, Alyssa could still hear the pop in her shoulder. It had taken days before her mother had finally taken her to the hospital. From there it was a whirlwind. Alyssa and Seara were whisked away and plopped with the Lee's. Alyssa had broken memories from that time. The doctors and police officers had said things the three-year old just couldn't understand. Alyssa had spent the first few days in a state of shock.
   Alyssa snuck out of her room to peek in on her sister. They had shared a room until recently. Everyday this week Alyssa had awoken and went to check on her sister. Seara was curled up around her favorite teddy bear. Alyssa slipped into the bed next to her sister. She wasn't ready for it to be morning. They would be going to court in the morning. Alyssa would finally be free of the ghosts that haunt her. Her one consolation was that her sister didn't remember. Alyssa had done her best to protect her. Tomorrow they'd have a real mom and dad. Alyssa sighed knowing they really did love them.
   Alyssa awoke to her sister crawling out of the bed, Elizabeth Lee standing in the doorway. When Seara went past Elizabeth came and sat on the bed.
   "Did you have another nightmare, sweetheart?" Elizabeth had been the one the girls had been sent to. It had taken three years, but finally the girls would live with them forever. Seara had called them mom and dad from the time she finally began talking, Alyssa waited. "Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked rubbing Alyssa's back.
   "Are you really going to be my mommy today?" Alyssa asked.
   Tears gathered in Elizabeth's eyes as she nodded. "Yes. Today I'm going to become your mommy. And Richard will be your daddy. Are you okay with that?"
   Alyssa sighed contentedly. Soon she'd be safe. With Elizabeth and Richard she knew it was going to be okay. 

Thankful Thursday - What Love Really Looks Like

This is going to be a little different than my normal Thankful Thursdays post. I've been struggling lately with the concept of love, and so I did what I normally would: I get mad, I throw a temper tantrum, I "pray" my way (basically complain to God) and tell Him not to give me an answer I don't want to hear, and then finally I pray and ask God to give me wisdom and help me; usually that entails Him showing me how I need to change.

So today I'm thankful for the answers God brings, even when it means I need to change!

I would like to share with you what I've come up with concerning love.

 

What Love Really Looks Like?

Love is a simple four letter word that I've recently noticed I use way too often. It's a word thrown around so much that it has lost some of it's meaning. Phrases like, "I love that movie," or "I love those shoes," or a "love ya" that is simply thrown at the end of a conversation, have diminished it's meaning.

The Bible says that God is love; however, it doesn't stop there. The Bible goes on to show us the acts of love. "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay one's life down for his friends" (John 15:13) and "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). This shows me that true love, God's love, is selfless, giving, and displayed in action. There's a saying that says "Love is a verb." A verb is an action word. To me this means to simply say you love something doesn't demonstrate that you do.

There is a good book called, The Five Love Languages. It talks about the different ways people feel loved: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. It's a great tool to understand how you receive love, and how others around you may receive love. It also confirms to me that love is displayed in action. Each of these languages take a verb, an action word, to complete them.

(As I began thinking this over, I initially felt justified: "See they don't love me..." And then I allowed God to continue working in me.)

1 Corinthians 13 makes cute sayings to put on place settings at a wedding. Everyone reads them and goes, "Awe how sweet." And then, they're forgotten about. Why? Because we've made love self-serving. How does it make me feel? I read through the list of love again.
Love:
- suffers long and is kind
- does not envy
- does not parade itself
- is not puffed up
- does not behave rudely
- does not seek its own
- is not provoked
- thinks no evil (some versions say here: keeps no record of wrongs)
- does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth
- bears all things
- believes all things
- hopes all things
- endures all things
Reading through this again my thought was, "Ouch!!" It's so easy to glance at this list and think, "What a nice thought." But that's not how the Bible is meant to be read! The Bible doesn't say things just because they're nice. This is how my love is to look. Love is an action, and these are the things people should see or not see in the way I love others. Can I honestly sit here and say my life has even one of these attributes all the time? Absolutely not!

I don't know about you, but I often get this chip on my shoulder that says, "they don't really love me, so I'm done with them." But Jesus says, "But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them," and then goes on to say in a later verse, "But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil" (Luke 6:32, 35).

Family is sometimes the hardest people to love, and it's so easy to want to write our families off. Why? Because they hurt us like no one else can. I can freely give of my time in working in the church, or going on a missions trip, or even going above and beyond at my job at work; and in all of these things, expect nothing in return. And yet, I struggle with my family. I think well they don't love me, they don't show me they love me, but this is selfish. Am I loving them, expecting nothing in return? Remember "love does not seek its own." As I'm coming to understand this I became utterly deflated. Does family still hurt us? Yes, but it's like those verse in Luke, if I only love those who [appear] to love me, what credit is that?

I'm still working on the execution of this lesson. It's one thing to read and understand, now comes the hard part of testing: executing God's kind of love no matter what! Here's what I've decided to do: stop saying it and start doing it. I want my actions to show my love. So when people hear my words it is confirmation of what they already know because of my actions.

What that means for you: If you say to me "love ya" don't get mad if I don't say it back, because I want to show you that I love you, and not just let it be empty words. I want you to know by my actions that I love you! Luke 6:30 says, "Treat others how you want to be treated." This is what I'm trying to do!

Fiction Friday... Talli

So I know this is a little late, but with Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and work it was a crazy day. But I still hope you enjoy this week's Fiction Friday. Next week I will be introducing Alyssa. I know we've seen a little blurb of her in Seara's story, but next weeks heart-wrenching tale will explain the ever-protective Alyssa. I hope these stories will give you a little glimpse into our characters, and why they are the way they are. In two weeks I will be introducing The Quartet, the story I've been working on, on and off, for nearly 14 years (yep started it the summer after my freshman year in High School). The story has been modified several times, and I'm hoping I might finally find it's ending. You guys are helping me with that; being able to share, and knowing people are looking forward to read what I write has motivated me to finish working on it.

Reminder: The disclaimer still holds true! :)

So without further delay...

Talli

Talli glanced around her room; the boxes seemed to be stacked to the ceiling. Her pink walls bare. She sat on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands. She was going to be in middle school next year; and if going to a bigger school wasn’t scary enough, now she was changing states as well. She had spent the last year and a half making friends, now she’d have to start all over. Why did she have to move again?

Talli looked up to see her twin standing in the doorway. Knowing that look she scooted over on the bed, the unspoken sign allowing him to enter her room. Brian and her spoke more silently than they ever did with words. The slightest nod, shrug, or look sent messages to the other. Certain times they’d only look at each other and break out into spontaneous laughter, befuddling anyone in attendance not attuned to the twin telepathy.

Brian put his arm around his sister’s shoulder and gave her a squeeze. She rested her head against his, sighing. This was there sixth move that Talli could remember, but her mom had told of the times they had moved while the twins were babies and also before they’d been born. Talli had been so sure they’d at least make it through Middle School this time. Now they were moving, again. And two weeks before their birthday, which would surely be forgotten.

“Why do we have to leave? I wish I could just stay here.” Talli told her brother.

“Well according to mom, they bought a house, no more apartments, so maybe we’ll be there through Middle School.” Brian comforted her.

“Whatever. We’re going to be living in the country. What are we supposed to do there? Here, if we want to walk around the corner to get a soda at the market or a gelato from the guy on the corner we can. What are we going to do in the middle of nowhere?”

Brian squeezed his sister’s shoulder again, his reply stuck in his throat as he saw his mom in the doorway. Talli straightened.

“Guys, almost done packing? The movers will be here first thing in the morning.”

Talli sighed.

“I am.” Brian said cheerfully, “I was just helping Talli finish up. We’ll do our bedding in the morning that’s what that box is for.” Brian pointed to the open box by the door. Mom nodded and walked back toward her room.

Brian and Talli were as different as they were alike. Brian and Talli shared dark hair, but Brian had blue eyes while Talli sported chocolate brown eyes. Brian was studious and while Talli, by no means dumb, had less interest in academia. Brian was optimistic and tended to be introverted; Talli was more pessimistic, but made friends easily. Maybe that’s why she feared the move, the whole summer in the middle of nowhere with no time to make friends. Two whole months just the two of them.

Brian suddenly brightened, “Hey, I think mom said, we were going to start going to church again there. Dad said he went to one a couple times while he was visiting there for work. I bet there will be lots of kids for you to meet.”

Talli rolled her eyes; they hadn’t been in a church since they were little. She didn’t know what would be worse, being bored to death every Sunday, or spending her whole summer in the middle of nowhere with the closest person hundreds of miles away?

Pushing up from the bed Talli began sorting through the last of her stuff. Brian silently at her side lifting things, with the slightest of head movements Talli signaled whether things staying or going. When they had finally finished Brian talked his sister into going out to shoot some hoops with him.

Nearly five days later, Brian and Talli sat with their parents in church. Brian was thrilled, Talli was nervous. They had come on Friday and met the pastor and were informed that the “kids” had a special class after worship. Talli sat arms folded during the singing and announcements. After the announcements the “kids” were dismissed to their classes. Brian and Talli joined the middle school class, they were told that everyone moved up in June, whatever that was supposed to mean.

Talli looked around the classroom from the doorway; the girls were in a small group talking quietly, while the boys were doing something by the front of the class, Talli couldn’t tell what. They were snickering and whispering which could only mean trouble.

“Hi I’m Seara. I’m going into sixth grade next year. This is only my second time in this class. We just had our moving up ceremony last week. You’re going to love Mr. Tom and Miss Kerry, they’re our teachers. According to my sister, that’s her over there, her name’s Alyssa. The boys try to play a joke on Mr. Tom each week. If they get him, they get a prize, but they haven’t yet.”

Mr. Tom and Miss Kerry walked in then. “Okay guys, take a seat.” Talli watched in amazement as people walked to the couches and bean bag chairs instead of going to the tables.

“Come on you guys can sit by me.” Seara waved them over.

There were five girls and six boys including Talli and Brian. Talli looked around the room and noticed they all had books in their laps. The girl named Seara led them to some empty cushions along the wall.

“I see we have some new people with us today, I’m Mr. Tom this is my wife Miss Kerry. Why don’t we take a minute and introduce ourselves.”

The youth seemed to know what they were doing and without anymore prompting began saying their names around the circle. Talli said, her name to finish the introductions. Miss Kerry asked some general questions about if they were siblings, what grade they were going into, and where they had lived before. By unspoken agreement Talli answered the questions directed at the two of them. It didn’t last long and soon class was under way. Talli was soon comfortable, and even though she didn’t know much of what was being talked about she really liked her teachers. They seemed genuinely interested in what the youth had to say.

Before they knew it class was being dismissed. The youth seemed to stay and hang out for a little while longer, but not sure what to do Talli and Brian headed for the door.

“Hey, it was great meeting you guys.” Seara said, “Will you be here next week?”

Talli shrugged, secretly hoping they would. Brian surprised Talli and spoke up, “Yeah we’ll be here. Mr. Tom mentioned something about a Wednesday class.”

“Yeah that’s at seven every week. We meet here we don’t go to the sanctuary first like we did today. Did you guys say you live on Johnson Road?”

After talking for a few minutes they found out that they were neighbors, sort of. Talli was excited about this revelation, she was thankful she wasn’t going to have spend the whole summer in the middle of nowhere with no one around for miles. She didn’t want to admit it, but it seemed this move wasn’t as bad as it once appeared.

Thankful Thursday

I started this week positively, I was so excited about what God was doing. I decided to make sticky notes so I wouldn’t forget all the things that I was thankful for. And then it happened, let me summarize by saying. this week was rough. It’s so easy when you feel attacked, or feel like everything is going wrong to have an ungrateful heart. But in spite of my rough week, I’m going to speak Victory into my day, and praise God for all the wonderful things I have to be thankful for.  The Bible tells us, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Instead of speaking anger, bitterness, and resentment, I’m going to speak gratefulness, love, and joy.

I am extremely thankful to be done with my classes. It will be thirteen years ago in December I felt the call of God on my life to go into ministry. After multiple confirmations, it’s been a desire that is firmly planted in my heart. I originally tried to do it my own way and in my own strength. I went to Bible College when I knew that’s not what God wanted me to do. I tried taking Berean classes, and that didn’t work either. I continued to wrestle with God throughout the years saying, “God I know this is what you want me to do, but how?” I looked into other colleges, but had no peace about them, so I just continued to wait and serve where I was.

Three years ago, I couldn’t take it any longer. I had been wrestling with God about this call for nearly ten years. I said, “Ya know what God?” (Yes I really talk to God like this.) “When You’re ready to show me what to do, I’ll listen. But I’m done trying to figure out what You want me to do. It’s Yours. But could You please show me through Pastor Siegfried because he’s my authority, and say this is what I want you to do.” Immediately I had peace. Wow should have surrendered a lot sooner.

Two weeks later I have a meeting with Pastor, nothing out of the ordinary. At this time I’m already our Girl’s Ministry Coordinator, so meetings with Pastor about how everything was going in ministry was common. Towards the end of the meeting Pastor says to me, “I thought you told me you wanted to be a Children’s Pastor.” (Which there’s another long funny story about how that came about, but I’ll save that for another time). I answered in the affirmative, and he asks, “Well how are you going to do it?”

And I laugh and respond, “I have no idea.”

Then Pastor says, “This is what I want you to do.”

Immediately I stop everything else that I’m thinking about and in my heart say “Yes Lord I’m listening.” Only God can answer our prayers exactly how we pray them. Only God can give us direction in the middle of a desert. Only God can show us the steps we need to take to answer the call he puts in our lives. And I am so grateful, so thankful to be done with the beginning of the process. There is so much more I need to do, and there are so many other steps and directions that need to be gone through. But for now I’m not going to look ahead. I’m going to take time to enjoy this small victory. I’m not going to rush ahead, and lose the heart of thankfulness.

This week I’m thankful for finishing my classes!

I am thankful for 2^nd moms that know when you need a Moe’s day!

I am thankful for my grandparents. They love me and bless me without condition.

I am thankful for all the blessings God has given me:

- my job
- my car
- a place to live
- my church and church family
- my nieces and nephews, who bring a smile to my heart the minute they walk into a room
- my parents who recognize the call on my life, and do everything they can to support me
- my siblings

AND SO MUCH MORE! Thank You Lord!

Healing

“Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come”
 

This song has been going through my head, whenever I hear it on the radio I think, “Wow can I really say this.” I would like to think I could. I imagine myself in a situation; and then, I imagine myself singing this in victory, arms raised in surrender. Knowing, “to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil 1:21).

But lately when I hear this song I think of something else altogether. Right now I’m walking through a season of Healing in my life. It began a couple months ago by sharing a part of my testimony. The person I was sharing with looked at me and said, “Jenn you’re praying wrong. What you need is healing?” Immediately, my eyes began to water because the truth hit me like a ton of bricks. They asked to pray for me.

I wish I knew before they prayed that healing hurt so much! It’s been a painful process with no end in sight. I know when God’s finished with the surgery I’ll be a better vessel for God’s glory, but here’s where the song comes in … What if the healing doesn’t come? What if after going through this process, the healing doesn’t come?

Now do I know that no matter what there are lessons to be learned in the process? Of course. And do I realize, that no matter what, by submitting to God’s hand He’s going to make me into a vessel used for His honor? Yes.

But what if the healing doesn’t look like what I think it should look like? What if there are still wounds that hurt? Places that will always be tender to the touch? Muscles that don’t fully work the way there supposed to when the process is over?

I know nearly every surgery leaves a scar. But scars don’t hurt. Scars are the character of our life. They tell our stories; the battles we’ve fought and lived through. Scars are the proof healing took place. So I’m okay with having scars.

But what if the healing doesn’t come? Do I go back to living like those wounds didn’t exist? Building up walls around the areas of my life that need protection? Walls that I’m working so hard to tear down in the healing process.

NO! No, I must not go back. We all have internal hurts that have the potential to tear our lives apart if we allow them too. I had been burying mine for years. Hiding them. It caused me to be 2 different people. The person I am, and someone totally different around the people that hurt me. So even if the all the hurts don’t go away, I cannot continue to be 2 people. I must walk forward believing, “That He who began a good work in me will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

So no, the healing may not look like what I thought it would. It may not be done all at once. I’m learning it’s a process. But no matter what, I refuse to go back. I refuse to allow the first stages of healing to be undone.

So…

"You are God and I will bless You
As the Good and Faithful One
You are God and I will bless You
Even if the healing doesn't come

Even if the healing doesn’t come"

Life's Not Fair, But God Is!

I heard someone say once, “God isn’t fair, He’s just.” This thought has rolled around in my head on and off through the years. I have to say, I disagree. God is fair.

I’m not a parent, but I’ve been working with kids for over 15 years. I have to say I’ve learned many things. The thing that I’ve known, but never really had words to explain is that “Fair doesn’t mean equal.”

Any parent with multiple children will tell you that they don’t treat all their kids the same. Does that mean they’re not fair? No. All kids are different; and so, in order to treat them fairly they need to be treated differently.

As a child and teenager whenever I heard the story of the talents in the Bible I thought, “That’s not fair.”

Matthew 25:14-30 – The master is going on a long journey and so he gives the first servant five talents, the second servant he gives two talents, and the third servant he gives one talent. This is where I think; well he doesn’t really give them all an equal shot, why doesn’t he give them all the same amount. Then let them prove themselves.

On his return he calls his servants for them to give him a report. The first comes and says, “Master, you gave me 5 talents, Look here are 5 more.” The Master says, “Well done you were faithful over a few things, I will put you in charge of many.”

The second comes and says, “Master, you gave me two talents, Look here is two more” The Master says, “Well done you were faithful over a few things, I will put you in charge of many.” The master says the exact same thing to the first two servants.

Finally, the third servant comes in, I can almost see him gravelling. He says, “Master I know you are a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed, and I was afraid so I went off and hid your talent in the ground, here here’s the talent you gave me.” I always felt bad for the last servant. You can almost feel his fear. He knows His master is a harsh man. And he proves it in his next lines, “You evil and lazy slave, you know I reap where I haven’t sewn and gather where I haven’t scattered, you should have at least taken it to the bank and deposited it, so that on my return I would’ve at least gotten it plus the interest. Take the one that he has give it to him with 10 and take this good-for nothing slave and throw him into outer darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.” Wow that’s harsh! I always thought, really was that necessary, I mean so he messed up, don’t we all mess up. And he wasn’t given a fair shot.

But read vs. 15 – “to one he gave five talents; to another, two; and to another, one – each according to his ability.” The master was fair. He gave “each according to his ability.” The master knew what each of his servants could handle. He knew them and their abilities and gave to each of them accordingly.

Our Master knows us and knows our abilities and will not give us more than we can handle, positively or negatively. The Bible says that God knows our frame and that we are dust. He created us; He knows the stresses and pressures we can handle.

It’s a common cliché that God will not give us more than we can handle. Let me tell you, it’s true. God will not give us more problems than we can handle and He will not give us more success than we can handle. Less we should curse him in our problems, or become prideful in out successes; each with the same result: turning away from God.

I wonder what would have happened if the Master had given the first servant 100 talents or even 50. Would he still have been successful? I don’t know, the verse says the Master gave each according to his ability which means, He knew exactly how much they could each handle.

The Master has given you talents and abilities. The question is what will you do with them? Will you be faithful with the few talents that God has given you? Will you use them to increase his kingdom, like the first two servants? Or will you bury your talents and your head in the sand?

Instead of looking around and thinking, “Oh I wish I could do this or that.” Start by doing what you can. And then as you are faithful in those areas you will begin to grow and develop, then next thing you know you’ll hear yourself say, “If you had asked me a year ago I would’ve never thought I’d be here.” What happened? How did someone get to that point? They were faithful in the few, and God used them.

So I encourage you to serve God now, where you’re at. Don’t wait another day to begin. Don’t be the evil slave that says, “Well because I can’t do this or that I’m not useful.” Because God, the King, the Lord of Lords, the Creator of Heaven and Earth has given gifts and talents to each of us, don’t be like the lazy, ungrateful slave and hide the gift God has given you. Serve God with all you have, starting right where you’re at and let God multiply you!

Fiction Friday... Seara

My previous disclaimer holds true for this story as well!

 

Seara

Seara jogged up through the path, the sun just beginning to set. Her pigtails swished happily behind her. She had found the perfect place, now all she had to do was convince her mother that she could take care of herself. Not an easy task for a ten year old with an overly protective father; and if that wasn’t bad enough, a sister who enjoyed playing mother hen. She loved them all; even though, they didn’t understand her need for space. Seara needed time alone, away from the protective eyes of her family. She loved roaming the woods along their property on her own. She was hoping dad would build her a tree house in the large oak by the creek. Maybe they’d even let her camp there in the summers.

“I knew I should have checked the woods first.” Alyssa sighed, “I’ve been looking all over for you, you’ve been gone for hours.” She exaggerated. “You said you’d help me with the dishes.”

“I know. But you guys weren’t done with dinner yet, so I just went exploring for a minute.” Seara explained logically, inwardly rolling her eyes at her sister’s worried expression.

“It’s almost pitch black in there...”

“Come on lets go do the dishes,” Seara said, deciding against getting into a debate with her sister, this time. “I’ll race you to the house. Ready, set, go_” Seara raced ahead of her sister.

“Ugh, hey_” Alyssa yelled from behind.

Whipping the door open, Seara rushed into the house. Quickly depositing her shoes in the mud room, she rushed into the kitchen.

“I won!” Seara panted to her father who had already begun filling the sink with dish water. “Where’s mom?”

“You cheated.” Alyssa accused, not nearly as winded as her sister, having given up the pursuit half-way across the yard. Looking around the kitchen, Alyssa asked, “Where’s mom?”

Dad smiled at his daughters, “She went to lie down. She’s getting a headache.”

“Another one?” The girls asked.

Both girls noticed the worried glance that passed quickly over their father’s face and exchanged one of their own. Their mother had been experiencing quite a few headaches lately. So frequently that they had even refused a foster placement. Something neither of the girls could remember them doing before.

Changing the subject, dad asked, “Have any homework?”

“Dad,” Seara giggled, as she dried the plate her sister had just handed her, “it’s Friday. And it’s almost summer vacation. Only twelve more days, including weekends.”

“Bet you’re going to miss school Lyssie?” Her father teased.

“Right.” Alyssa feigned, “I’m so heartbroken.”

“I’m excited, I’m starting Middle School. I have graduation this year! Are you coming daddy?” Seara interrupted.

“I don’t know Peanut…"

“Daddy!” Seara laughed.

“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

*           *           *

“Did you see the new family at church?” Seara asked her sister excitedly from her seat in the van.

“Yeah.” Alyssa said looking out the window. Alyssa was worried about her mother. Mom never missed Sunday service.

“They’re twins. They’re going into sixth grade too. I can’t believe summer’s almost over. Only two more weeks. The new family, they bought the farm house around the corner from us. If we went through the woods we would end up in their back yard. I’ve walked that way a couple times, it’s easy, except when the creek is high. Talli, that’s a strange name, but she’s really nice. Dad, can we invite her over? And Lyssie we should ask Tria too. Daddy can we have a sleep-over?” Seara rattled on about all the things the girls could do at the sleep-over not really waiting for answers to her questions.

Dad and Alyssa’s minds were on the same person – Mom. Dad pulled his mini-van into the driveway, pushed the button to open the garage doors, and parked the car inside. Seara continued to chatter the whole way into the house.

After taking her shoes off, Alyssa went in search of her mother. She found her reading her Bible on the couch with an old blanket thrown over her lap. Mom closed her Bible as Alyssa walked into the living room.

“How was church?” Mom asked.

“Fine, how are you feeling?”

Seara waltzed into the living room, before mom could answer, dad in tow. Dad walked over to the couch kissing mom’s forehead and then gently kissing her lips.

“Fever’s gone.” Dad commented not fully standing.

“I’m feeling better.” Mom tenderly touched dad’s cheek.

“Hey mom, guess what?” Seara plopped on the couch next to her mother. When mom made eye contact with her youngest daughter, Seara continued, “There’s a new family in church, and they have twins, a boy and a girl...”

“Hold on, Peanut.” Dad said cutting off Seara’s running diatribe, “You need to head upstairs and change, then you can tell mom all about Tillie during lunch.”

Seara laughed, “Talli, dad. Not Tillie.”

“My mistake – Talli. Now go change.”

Seara ran for the stairs, but not before she heard dad ask mom. “Don’t you think it’s time we tell them?”

Thankful Thursday

I know technically it's not Thursday, but these thoughts come from yesterday. I didn't get a chance to post yesterday because the first half of my day was spent in the doctor's office, while my grandfather had eye surgery; and the second half sleeping trying to overcome this cold, which I found out wasn't a cold. During this time I came up with many things to be thankful for, I was just too tired to go on my computer :-O shocking I know. So let me share these thoughts with you.

I am thankful for overpriced mechanics that quote you one price to get your car in the garage, and then call you and tell you the price is actually 3 times what they quoted because it wasn't what they thought it was. Along with this I'm thankful for a God that's sovereign and that gives me favor so that when I actually pick my car up the overpriced mechanic takes an hour of labor off, and now I only need to pay double the original quote. I'm so thankful for a God who supplies all my needs. And thankful for a car that is now running without a leaky transmission. I am also thankful for my parents who were able to spot me the extra cash until I get paid next week.

I am thankful for my two wonderful nephews. I'm thankful that they know how to share and share with Aunt Jenny quite often; whether it's toys, or funny statement, or germ-infested lolipops! I love my nephews and am so thankful they're in my life. Maybe next time I'll remember not to share the germ-infested lolipop! :)

I am thankful for work. I am thankful for my full-time position which gives me benefits such as, sick time. Especially since the germ-infested lolipop has caused me to be out of work for two days. I'm thankful that in an economy where jobs are scarce God has blessed me with two wonderful jobs! And although sometimes I forget I'm blessed, I really enjoy the work I do.

I am thankful for my friends. The people God has placed in my life to walk with me during different seasons. I'm thankful that I have friends that will cut and color my hair, friends that will listen to me rant and rave, friends that will give me a shoulder to cry on, friends that will help me laugh, and friends that will sharpen me. Thank you God for my friends!

So what are you thankful for today?

Fiction Friday

I am so excited about this post. I love reading books, especially fiction. A secret passion of mine is writing. I'm slowly beginning to share that passion with others, but since fear of rejection is a big one for me it's hard for me to share with people who may not like what I write. But hey, I'm learning if you like me - you like me and if you don't - you don't. I don't like everything I read, so I shouldn't expect everyone to like my writing as well. I do like honest critiquing, so if you have something you think needs a little improvement, let me know.

Disclaimer: The characters and events in my writings are 100% fictional and in no way depict real people, scenarios, or events. If you see yourself in my writing I had no intention of putting you there. :)

 

Tria

(Name to be changed at a later date) 

Tria ran straight for home. Climbing the porch steps, she turned around to see her brother only two steps behind her. Picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder he carried her into the house.

Giggling and wiggling to get free, she gasped, “I told you I was going to win.”

“No more head starts for you.” Her older brother laughed as he threw her on the couch and tickled her.

Tria’s blond hair was a riot about her face. Emma, their oldest sister, walked into the living room having already been home from school.

“Mom’s got a snack in the kitchen for you.” She said gently.

Racing into the kitchen, Tria screeched, “Ice cream_”

Aaron looked at Emma. She nodded. To prove her point she flipped the dead switch. Nothing. Sighing, Aaron skipped the snack and headed in search of the lanterns and flashlights.

Mom’s red-rimmed eyes were not a new sight to Tria. She kept quiet as she devoured her snack. Usually ice cream was saved for after dinner. But there was no way she’d remind her mother of this. Tria saw Emma walk across the threshold into the kitchen.

“Want some?” Tria asked her big sister.

“No. You eat it.” Emma smiled.

“Where’s Aaron? His is melting.”

“We’re going to have an adventure tonight, okay?” Emma cheerily spoke, her fourteen year old voice taking on a light tone.

The eight year old's eyes lit up at the thought of it. “Can Maddie join us?” She asked referring to their two-year old sister.

“Of course, we’ll all play. We’re going to pretend that we live in the olden days.”

“Like ‘Little House on the Prairie’? I wanna be Laura.” Tria interrupted her sister, loving the idea of their adventure already.

“Now remember, they didn’t have any electricity, so we’re going to use candles and lanterns, we’ll have daddy cook out on the grill because he’s supposed to be back tonight. And we’ll all sleep downstairs, like we’re camping in the living room, okay?”

Tria nodded. This was going to be the best adventure ever. Looking at her mother, she wondered if this would make her feel better. She loved when her mother laughed. Her whole face would light up, but lately her mother’s laugh was rare. And her hugs only for herself. Emma kissed Tria’s booboo’s, and tucked her in at night, telling her mom would kiss her goodnight before she went to bed. Tria wondered though if she’d been bad. Many of those nights she’d laid awake waiting for her mother to come in. When she heard her mother on the stairs she closed her eyes, not wanting her to know she was still up; however, her mother would just stumble past her door. Tria couldn’t wait for dad to come home, he always played with them. He would make them laugh, and take them on walks in the woods.

“Now first thing you need to do is get your homework done.” Emma told her.

“Emma, it’s Friday. Only you have homework on Fridays.” Tria smiled.

Emma’s heart melted at the sight. Tria looked just like their mother, thinking this Emma turned to look at her. Their mother turned away.

“I’m gonna go find Maddie, and tell Aaron his ice cream is melting.” Tria told her sister.

Emma cleared her throat.

Looking down, Tria asked, “Can I be excused?”

“May I,” Emma corrected, “Yes, you may.”

Skipping from the kitchen, Tria ran to find the object of her affections. Her baby sister was exactly what she’d prayed for. Tria loved that Maddie was beginning to speak. Coming into their room, Tria found Maddie standing prisoner behind the bars of her crib.

“Out, E. Out_” Maddie raised her hands to be lifted out.

“Sit Maddie.”

Maddie sat and watched as Tria lowered the bar on the crib. “Ready. Say Tree-ya.” Tria emphasized her name.

“E-ya.” Maddie echoed.

Rolling her eyes, Tria laughed. Helping her sister climb from her cage, they went in search of their brother.

“Aaron.” Tria exclaimed, seeing her brother with an armload of supplies coming from the attic. “Watch this. Maddie say Tria.”

“E-ya.” The toddler said proudly.

“She says my name. Say Aaron.” Tria prompted.

“Nin nin.” She scrunched up her nose.

“We got to work on that one.” Tria laughed. Aaron joining her.

“Squirt, you wanna help me carry some of this downstairs?” The twelve-year old asked.

“Yeah, your ice creams melting.” Tria told him, picking up an armload of blankets, “Maddie go down the stairs like Tria showed you.”

Sitting on her diapered bottom, Maddie bounced down the stairs. Tria smiled proudly at her big brother.

The rest of the night was an adventure. Dad came home in the evening and barbecued hamburgers and hot dogs for dinner. They played games and told stories until it was too dark to see. The youngest snuggled down first.

Sometime during the night, Tria awoke to the familiar sound of her parents in their bedroom. Their voices were muffled, but Tria could make out the sobs in her mother’s voice. Her father was clearly angry. Tria wondered if her mother was telling him what a bad girl she’d been. She tried to be good while daddy was away, but she always seemed to mess up. Throwing her blanket over her head, Tria cried herself back to sleep.

Morning came and with it a sense of relief. Tria’s troubles from the night before were the last thing on her mind. Looking over she cold tell she was the last one up. Emma walked into the living room in her softball gear. Aaron trailing behind her, baseball glove in hand.

“You guys ready to go?” Tria’s father called from the other room.

“Yeah.” Emma and Aaron called in unison.

“Where are you guys going?” Tria whimpered.

“I’ve got practice, and Em’s got a game later.” Aaron told her squatting down and pushing the stray blond hair from her face. “Mom’s gonna bring you and Maddie to Em’s game later. Okay?”

“Yeah, you’ve got to be mom’s helper. You got to be good and help mom with Maddie.” Emma spoke softly to her sister.

“Okay.” Tria sighed, bummed about missing the opportunity to spend the day with her dad and older siblings. Emma and Aaron headed out to the car, where their dad was waiting

Tria loved going to the softball and baseball games. She would help in the concession stand and the grandmotherly ladies would spoil her with french fries and gummy bears. But first she would watch her Saturday Morning cartoons. Snuggling her back against the couch, still wrapped in the blankets, Tria reached for the remote. The screen stayed black. Thinking the batteries were dead, she got up and turned on the television. Nothing.

“Mom!” Tria called.

Getting no response she remembered to go find her mother instead of yelling for her. Searching first in the kitchen, Tria decided to check upstairs.

“Mom.” Tria whispered into her parents bedroom. A grunt came from the direction of the bed, Tria’s sign to enter. “The tv’s not working.”

“That’s because there’s no power,” her mother growled.

“But it’s not storming outside.” Tria said confused. Living in the country she was used to the power going out during storms.

Her mother sighed angrily. “I know. I guess you want me to get up and do something about it. Why can you never just let me have a few minutes of peace?”

“I’m sorry momma. I’ll leave.”

Another angry sigh. Never bothering to even look at her daughter she added, “Go check on Maddie.”

Quickly obeying her mother, Tria ran to find her sister. She found her in the playroom downstairs. There were toys everywhere. Tria tried to pick the toys up, but was distracted by an old doll. She found a hairbrush and began to brush the snarls out of the doll's hair. Then she went about finding the perfect outfit for her doll. Soon she was so occupied with playing with the doll that she lost track of time. Hearing her mother on the stairs, Tria’s head popped up. Where was Maddie?

Tria was too late. She found her sister just after her mother had. She watched in horror as her mother scooped up her baby sister and began to scream at her for dumping cereal all over the place.

“It’s my fault mommy. Maddie didn’t mean anything?” Tria’s empty stomach grumbled, “I should’ve been watching her. I’m sorry mommy.” She cried.

Letting go of Maddie, her mother turned on her. Grabbing her by the arm and shaking her, she screamed in her face. She dragged the girls into the playroom and slammed the door.

“I can’t take this anymore!” She yelled through the door. “I refuse to do this one more day...” On and on she screamed. Rhetorically asking if they’d rather not have a mother.

Tria tried to open the door but her mother had locked them in there. Maddie was crying now too. Tria yelled through the door that she was sorry, that she’d be good now, but it did no good. Soon her mother’s tirade was over. Tria comforted Maddie, playing with the young girl. She tried the door a little while later when she heard Maddie’s stomach growl but it was no use. Going to the closet, she opened the door. Emma had a stash of crackers that she’d placed in there for her sister’s tea parties. Getting the box of saltine crackers, from the closet, Tria handed her sister some crackers. After the tea party, the girls decided to play house. Sometime during their game the girls fell asleep.

Tria awoke to the sound of the playroom door opening.

“Dad, they’re in here!” Emma yelled.

Their father rushed in and scooped up both girls. He held them tight in his arms. The momentary thought of losing them had been too much for him. When his wife hadn’t showed up for his daughter’s softball game, he hadn’t thought much of it. He had somehow gotten used to her excuses. The note on the door when he got home scared him. I’m leaving! Was all it said, scratched on the back of the electric bill. Another thing his wife had decided not to pay. Then the thought hit him. Where were his girls? He ran upstairs to their bedroom to check for them. When he’d found it empty he nearly collapsed, and then Emma called to him from downstairs. How could she just leave them? Locked in the room? Alone! He needed to calm down.

Tria’s stomach growled and he realized they probably hadn’t eaten. He’d see to this need first.



Thankful Thursday

In life it's so easy to see the negative. We jump so quickly from one thing to the next that we don't always stop to be thankful or to celebrate the victories. So I have decided to be purposeful in taking a step back, being thankful, and celebrating the victories in my life.

Today, I'm thankful that I live in a country that I can still openly complain about and not fear imprisonment or other punishment. I may not like the choices that my government is making, but I still have the freedom to express my opinion. Along with that I'm thankful for a God who is sovereign. I'm thankful that He has a plan and although we don't see it He hasn't left us to our own devices.

On a personal level, I'm thankful that I'm single. I'm surprising myself by saying this, but honestly it's true. I've just never wanted to admit that I enjoy the freedom of my singleness. As a woman we still sometimes tend to believe that we are not complete if we are not a wife and mother. In fact as a teenager that's all I wanted. So what changed? God's calling. I'm not in anyway saying you can't be called by God and married. I'm saying for me in this season of my life, I'm thankful for my singleness.

Looking at the woman around me I know beyond a shadow of a doubt they're happy and that there are benefits of being married. But watching them I am also understanding something else, I am understanding what Paul meant when he says, he desires all men were single as he was. I look at these wonderful married women of God and think, "Wow there is so much I wouldn't be able to do if I had to worry about someone else." And I'm thankful. That doesn't mean there are days that I still don't crave that companionship. But really I'm thankful. 

What are you thankful for today? Feel free to share!

The American Knight

The following article I wrote over a year ago. As I've been thinking about the upcoming elections I really felt I should share this. I want to let you know right now it may come across as harsh and unloving, but sometimes I think it's important to call things as we see them. It's important for us as Christians to rise up and do what we should have been doing from the beginning. I'm not here to promote a political agenda, although I do feel it's extremely important to vote. We must remember that it is God who raises people up, so as you go to the polls to vote remember to pray that God's will would be done, and I hope you will consider and be challenged by what I've written here.



The American Church has become complacent. We sing songs, and raise our hands at the right time in worship. We say a hearty “Amen!” when the pastor gets excited; and then, leave forgetting what we had just said amen to. We know the words to say, that make everyone including ourselves believe we are strong mature Christians. We are not lacking in knowledge. We read the "How to" books. We go to church every Sunday. And mid-week services too! And yet we’re lacking!

James 1:22 (NKJV) says, “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”

We’ve been hearers of the Word to long. We sit and listen, and don’t even realize our hearts are hard, our fire is dying, and our love is growing cold. We sit satisfied in the knowledge that we are saved, and forget that there’s more to do. We listen to the message and think, “Wow I hope so and so heard that, they really need that!” You’re a Pharisee! Never hearing the Word for yourself and being changed! We have a mission!

Jesus says in Matthew 11:12 (NKJV) - "... the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force."

It's time to get out of our cushy Christianity. We're in a war, yet we're more concerned with learning than with doing. Satan is systematically taking over our country and we're letting him; as long as he lets us be comfortable, we're okay with sitting back and not causing trouble. We're more concerned with our comfort than our Christianity! Too afraid we might offend someone! Or we may be laughed at! Oh no!

God help us!

Ephesians 6:11-17 (NKJV) - "Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God"

We are to put on the whole armor, yet most of us are too fat from lack of exercise to fit into it. Our heads are inflated with pride. Our bellies are fat from milk. Eating and sleeping like babies. Barely exercising what we've been taught. Our feet are soft and tender, uncalloused, more suited to the air at the end of a recliner than to the beaten earth of the battlefield.

Our shield is perfect! We pride ourselves on its condition: polished, immaculate, not a single dent or scratch. It hangs as a showpiece above our mantels. Proudly proclaiming, "I am a Christian." But should the need arise, the arms that would need to carry the shield are scrawny and weak. The weight would soon overwhelm.

Our sword, like our shield, is in perfect condition. Used a little more often, but more like children with sticks pretending they're in battle than of the rigorous training of the seasoned soldier. We've trained with sticks long enough! It's time to take our training to the next step. It's time to stand up and use our swords in battle!

Should we ever need to wear our armor we'd have a difficult time just standing, let alone fighting. And yet, we don't find this odd. We aren't curious as to why we so seldom need our armor. And should we wonder, an answer soon arises, "You don't need to use your armor, you don't have to face the struggles others do because you’re a good person. You don't have to fight," the voice coos, as it rocks us back to sleep.

LIES! Wake up and listen to the voice rocking you to sleep! That's not the voice of your Master, but the voice of your enemy; lulling you to sleep as he comes and robs you. What does he take? Your purpose! Instead of fighting for the ones God has given you, the people you are responsible to reach, teach, and train, you're sleeping comfortably in the knowledge you're saved. We've been deceived into thinking that it’s only the pastor's job to reach the lost; however, we all have the same call: "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature." (Mark 16:15, NKJV) We have all been given this call! This isn’t a commission to a few select people! It’s a call to every person who has called on the name of the Lord to be saved! God is telling you to “Go!”

Our castles (our churches) are nearly empty, the training fields deserted. Instead of the clank of swords, the sound that resonates is the groan of the glutton over-satisfied to the point of vomiting. We eat up the word for ourselves and so seldom share it. We're more interested in our social calendars than in our society which is lost and dying.

We've sat at Jesus' feet. We've received His instructions. And yet we’re still sitting, thinking, “One day…” Now is the time to stand up. Now is the time to go! Exercise your faith. Prove your faith by your works. Go and preach! Reach out to the lost.

Put on your armor for the war is at our doorstep, the miniature battles we've faced are nothing compared to what we are up against. There's only one way to win: Stand up. Put down the "How to" book, you know what you need to do. You don't need someone else explaining it to you again. You don't need to hear another message before you go out. You need only to stand. God has equipped you. We need only do what we've been taught. Put faith to your works and see the salvation of your God. It's time to stand up! It’s time to go to war!

Today is the day of Salvation. Today is the day to do what God is calling you to do! Today, tell your friends about Jesus Christ. Today, step out in faith. Today put on your armor! Today go forth to battle! Today!

Stop being satisfied with your own salvation! Look around there is a world that is lost and dying, and you are content in the knowledge you are saved! Really? God has saved you for a purpose; if He didn’t expect you to fulfill his mission, then He would have taken you home after He saved you! Don’t be satisfied with the crumbs of Salvation when God desires to fill you to overflowing with the power of the Holy Spirit! You have a mission, you have a purpose.

Rise up! Become what you were meant to be in Christ! It’s time!